Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-11
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
How sugar is produced from sugar cane
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The diagram below depicts the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane .
Well naturally sugar is obtained from sugar cane. The initial step to get sugar is growing sugar cane in the fields for maximum 12 to 18 months. The second step is once it completely grows it is harvested using sharp objects like knife or through the tractors used in the fields. Then the sugarcanes are crushed in a machine where it is kept and the juice comes out of it . The juice is purified through lime stone filter just to remove the impurities . The juice is heated under the flame and the constant heating leads to evaporation which converts the juice into syrup. The syrup is centrifuged using a centrifugation process where the sugar crystals are separated from syrup. Then the sugar crystals are kept for drying. Once it gets dried it is cooled and the sugar is ready for use. This whole process is to produce a sugar from sugar cane . This process occurs in large factories or in industrial areas. Sugar is used for many purposes in daily life as a sweetener in making sweets as a scrubber in facials .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers the main stages of the sugar production process, but it fails to meet the requirements of an Academic Task 1 report. The tone is overly informal and conversational, using phrases like 'Well naturally' and 'just to remove the impurities'. Furthermore, the response includes irrelevant information not present in the diagram, such as the use of sugar as a 'scrubber in facials'. A successful response should remain objective and focus strictly on the visual data provided. While the sequence of steps is generally accurate, the lack of an overview and the inclusion of external, non-diagrammatic information significantly limit the score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is written as a single block of text, which lacks the necessary paragraphing to structure the information logically. While there is a chronological progression, the use of cohesive devices is repetitive and mechanical, relying heavily on simple transition words like 'Then' and 'The second step'. The lack of clear paragraph breaks between the introduction, the process description, and the conclusion (if one were needed) makes the text feel like a list of instructions rather than a cohesive report. To improve, you should group related stages into distinct paragraphs.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is basic and often repetitive. Phrases like 'sharp objects like knife' and 'kept in a machine' are imprecise and lack the technical register required for a process description. There is little attempt to use academic or process-specific terminology (e.g., 'crushing,' 'purification,' 'evaporation,' 'centrifugation'). The inclusion of conversational filler words like 'Well naturally' is inappropriate for an academic task. To achieve a higher band, focus on using precise verbs and nouns related to industrial processes and avoid informal, conversational language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response relies primarily on simple sentence structures. While there are some attempts at complex sentences, they are often marred by grammatical errors or awkward phrasing, such as 'This whole process is to produce a sugar from sugar cane'. There are issues with article usage ('a sugar', 'the flame') and prepositional errors. The punctuation is generally functional, but the overall control of complex structures is limited. To improve, practice combining sentences using relative clauses or passive voice, which is particularly suitable for describing industrial processes.
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