Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-11
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
How sugar is produced from sugar cane
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The diagram below illustrates the different stages undergone during the manufacturing process of sugar.
Sugar is derived from sugar cane and basics undergoes various stages during the process ranging from harvesting to refined sugar that is ready and safe to consume.
Basically, there are 7 various steps involved during the process and mostly, harvesting stage is the most time consuming especially if manually harvested compared to machine harvest.
The third stage during manufacturing which is crushing, is one of the most crucial one as it involves thorough segregating of juice from sugar cane.Hygiene becomes cardinal when handling the juice through the fourth stage which is juice purification to limestone filter.
The limestone filter ensures that particles from the juice are completely eliminated before undergoing the heating stage which converts juice to syrup.
The final stage is drying and cooling and this usually occurs after undergoing centrifuge which separates sugar from the syrup.Drying and cooling is essential as it drains moisture before packaging.
Thereafter, the product is ready for consumption.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers the main stages of the sugar production process, but it lacks a clear overview of the process as a whole. While you mention there are seven steps, you do not effectively highlight the key stages or the cyclical nature of the process. Furthermore, you include external information not present in the diagram, such as the comparison between manual and machine harvesting, which is not supported by the provided visual data. To improve, focus strictly on the information presented in the diagram and ensure you provide a clear summary of the overall process in the introduction or conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The response is organised into a single block of text, which makes it difficult to follow. You should use clear paragraphing to separate the introduction, the body stages, and the conclusion. While some cohesive devices are used, such as 'thereafter' and 'the final stage', the flow is somewhat mechanical. The transition between the description of the harvesting and the crushing stage is abrupt. Improving the use of linking words and structuring your response into logical paragraphs would significantly enhance the clarity and progression of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'manufacturing', 'purification', and 'centrifuge'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and phrasing, such as 'basics undergoes' (should be 'basically undergoes') and 'thorough segregating' (should be 'thorough segregation'). Additionally, the use of 'cardinal' is slightly unnatural in this context. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and ensure that your word forms are grammatically correct within the sentence structure.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. For example, 'mostly, harvesting stage is the most time consuming' lacks appropriate articles, and 'basics undergoes' is a subject-verb agreement error. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after periods (e.g., 'syrup.Drying'). While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors in basic grammar and punctuation prevent the response from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and article usage.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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