Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

How sugar is produced from sugar cane

Student answer (Band 4.0)

THE DIAGRAM EXPLAINS ABOUT HOW WE GET THE SUGAR FROM SUGAR CANE

FIRTS IT GROWING THE SEED FOR 12 TO 18 MONTH WHEN IT FULL COMPLETE SUGER CANES ARE VISBLE THE DO HARVASTING TO TAKE FROM FIELD TO FACTORY SUGAR PROCESSING ,THEY HARVEST THROGH HEAVY MACHINES AND IT CAN BE POSSIBLE THROUGH MEN ALSO AFYER THAT PUT INTO 1 CEUSING MACHINE TO CRUSH ALL SUGARCANES CONVERT INTO JUICE .JUICE SEND TO PURIFYING LIMESTONE FILTER TO REMOVE ALL IMPURTIES MAKE IT PURE AND THEN HEATED THE JUICE TO CONVERT IN THICK SYRUP LIKE CONSISTENCY AND SEPARATE CYSTEAL FROM SYRUP TO MAKE SUGAR AND SRTORE IN TO COLLING JA R FOR COLLECTING SUGAR

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the ability to fully develop the task. While you have identified the main stages of the process, such as harvesting, crushing, purifying, and heating, the description is quite brief and lacks the necessary detail to provide a comprehensive summary. The overview is missing, and the process is described in a single, run-on paragraph rather than a structured report. To improve, you must expand on the specific steps, include an introductory overview of the process, and ensure the response meets the length requirement to allow for a full explanation of the diagram's features.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The response lacks paragraphing, which makes it difficult to follow the logical progression of the manufacturing process. There is a lack of cohesive devices to link the stages together; instead, the text relies on a series of clauses joined by commas or run-on sentences. For example, the transition between the harvesting stage and the crushing stage is abrupt. To improve, you should organize the information into clear paragraphs (e.g., an introduction, a summary of the main stages, and a concluding overview) and use linking words like 'subsequently', 'following this', and 'as a result' to guide the reader through the process.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, often relying on basic verbs like 'get', 'put', and 'make'. There are also several spelling errors, such as 'FIRTS' (first), 'CYSTEAL' (crystal), 'SRTORE' (store), and 'COLLING' (cooling), which hinder readability. While you have used some process-specific terms like 'harvesting', 'crushing', and 'purifying', the overall range is insufficient to demonstrate a higher level of control. To improve, focus on using more precise verbs and nouns related to industrial processes, such as 'extract', 'refine', 'evaporate', and 'centrifuge', and ensure careful proofreading to eliminate basic spelling mistakes.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The grammatical structure is weak, characterized by frequent errors in sentence construction, punctuation, and verb tense. Many sentences are run-on, such as 'IT GROWING THE SEED FOR 12 TO 18 MONTH WHEN IT FULL COMPLETE SUGER CANES ARE VISBLE THE DO HARVASTING'. There is a lack of complex sentence structures, and the misuse of articles and subject-verb agreement is persistent. To improve, focus on writing complete, grammatically correct sentences with proper punctuation. Practice using complex structures like passive voice, which is essential for describing processes (e.g., 'The juice is heated to create a thick syrup').

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