Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-14
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
How sugar is produced from sugar cane
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The diagram illustrate the manufacturing plan for making sugar from sugar cane there are different features and after passed by all the process then sugar made for different purposes.
Overall,there are total seven steps for manufacturing of sugar from sugar cane.The first step growing the sugar cane and last step is drying and cooling the sugar after all the process sugar is ready for the use of people.
The first step is growing the sugar cane it takes a time about 12 to 18 months for its growing after the time period Harvesting process is start and after that Crushing step is followed in which sugar cane is crush and fourth step is about Purifying the juice and fifth step is Evaporator in which juice become syrup by heat and second last step is syrup changed into a crystal form and last step is Drying and cooling the sugar.
As, conclusion the diagram show the how sugar is produced from sugar cane total step is 7 and sugar cane is passed by all steps then sugar is produced.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response identifies the main stages of the sugar production process, but the description is overly simplistic and lacks the analytical depth required for a Band 6 or higher. While you mention the seven steps, the summary does not effectively highlight the key transitions or the transformation of the raw material into the final product. The overview is repetitive and lacks a clear, professional summary of the process flow. To improve, focus on grouping the stages logically (e.g., preparation, extraction, purification, and refinement) rather than simply listing them step-by-step. Ensure you clearly describe the purpose of each stage, such as the role of heat in the evaporation process, to demonstrate a better understanding of the diagram.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical flow is hindered by poor sentence structure and a lack of cohesive devices. Many sentences are run-on or lack appropriate punctuation, making the progression of ideas feel mechanical. For example, the transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs is abrupt, and the conclusion merely repeats the information provided in the introduction without adding value. To improve, use a wider range of linking words such as 'subsequently', 'following this', 'once', and 'as a result' to connect the stages of the process more fluidly. Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, relying heavily on the words provided in the prompt (e.g., 'sugar cane', 'manufacturing', 'process'). There is little evidence of a range of vocabulary suitable for describing a technical process. Phrases like 'sugar made for different purposes' and 'after the time period' are imprecise. To improve, incorporate more specific process-related terminology such as 'cultivation', 'extraction', 'centrifugation', 'crystallisation', and 'refinement'. Avoid using informal phrasing; instead, aim for a more academic tone by using precise verbs and nouns that accurately describe the transformation of the sugar cane.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'The diagram illustrate'), missing articles, and run-on sentences that lack necessary punctuation. The sentence structures are largely simple, and attempts at more complex sentences are often grammatically incorrect, such as 'after passed by all the process then sugar made'. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically ensuring that every sentence has a clear subject and verb. Practice using relative clauses and passive voice, which are essential for describing industrial processes, while paying close attention to correct verb tenses and punctuation.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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