Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-15
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
How sugar is produced from sugar cane
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The layout illustrates the formation of sugar from sugar cane step by step .
Overall sugar is prepared by raw sugar cane which is pass through the distinct process, However the process is start by growing sugar cane it requires 12 to 18 months to become mature ,after maturation it is the time to harvest , it is harvested by two means such as mechanical harvest which is brought up by machinery while the other is manual in which sugar canes are cut down by human being after this experience it is significantly it is crush by an apparatus to extract the juice .
Moreover sugar cane juice is purified by funnel shaped limestone filter ,drop after drop extract is purified then this purified material is transferred into a chamber for boiling heat facilitates the evaporation process and transformed the juice into a syrup .
After the formation of syrup it is centrifuge by rotation the mixture that contribute to separate sugar crystals from sugar syrup and at the last stage the crystals are dried and cool to get the solid sugar particles.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main stages of the sugar production process, from harvesting to the final product. However, the overview is somewhat weak; it describes the process as 'raw sugar cane which is pass through the distinct process' rather than highlighting the key transformation stages. While the response identifies the main steps, the description of the harvesting phase is slightly over-detailed compared to the later technical stages, which are described more briefly. To reach a higher band, ensure the overview clearly synthesizes the entire process and maintains a consistent level of detail across all stages.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the sequence of events. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, the phrase 'after this experience' is used inappropriately to describe a mechanical process, and 'at the last stage' is a bit clunky. The flow between sentences is sometimes interrupted by awkward phrasing, such as 'However the process is start by growing sugar cane'. Improving the variety and precision of linking words would significantly enhance the logical progression of the report.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the reader to understand the process. There are some attempts at topic-specific vocabulary like 'centrifuge', 'evaporation', and 'apparatus'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and awkward collocations, such as 'formation of sugar' instead of 'production of sugar', and 'brought up by machinery' instead of 'carried out by machinery'. Additionally, there are minor errors in word forms, such as 'is start' instead of 'starts'. Expanding the range of precise technical terms would improve the score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('the process is start'), incorrect verb forms ('is pass through', 'is crush'), and punctuation errors, such as missing commas and spaces before punctuation marks. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to distract the reader. To improve, focus on consistent verb tense usage and ensuring that subjects and verbs agree, as well as refining the use of passive voice, which is essential for process descriptions.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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