Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-17
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
How sugar is produced from sugar cane
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The described diagram reveals method of how sugar is produced from sugar cane.
The foremost step in making the sugarcane is letting them grow till 12 to 18 months until they are ready for the next step which is harvesting, which can be done either with machines or manually; Moreover harvesting with the help of machines is more suitable nowadays because harvesting manually takes more time and hard work and then that harvested sugar canes are further crushed with the help of machines and juice is produced which is purified with limestone filter and then it is evaporated to make the juice syrup later it is centrifuge, which is method to separate sugar particles from the syrup and the last step in which sugar is dried and cooled by which the sugar is provided to customers.
Overall, there are total 7 steps in whole process of manufacturing sugar from sugar cane and then provided to the end users.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main stages of the process, but it lacks a clear overview of the overall manufacturing cycle. While you mention there are seven steps, you do not highlight the key features or the transformation process effectively. The description is somewhat narrative rather than analytical. To improve, you should group the stages logically (e.g., preparation, extraction, purification, and final processing) and provide a more concise summary of the key trends or stages in the introduction or conclusion. Ensure that you focus on the information presented in the diagram rather than adding external commentary about the suitability of machines versus manual labor, which is not part of the provided data.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The response is essentially one long, run-on sentence, which makes it difficult to follow the logical progression of the process. You rely heavily on 'and' to connect ideas, which creates a mechanical flow. To reach a higher band, you must use clear paragraphing to separate the different stages of the process. Additionally, use a wider range of cohesive devices such as 'subsequently', 'following this', or 'once the juice is extracted' to link the steps. The current structure lacks the necessary signposting to guide the reader through the sequence of events clearly.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate to describe the process, but it lacks the precision and variety expected for an Academic Task 1 response. You use basic verbs like 'making' and 'provided'. There is also some awkward phrasing, such as 'the described diagram reveals method of how'. To improve, incorporate more technical and precise terminology related to industrial processes, such as 'harvesting', 'crushing', 'purification', 'evaporation', and 'centrifugation'. Avoid repetitive phrasing and focus on using more sophisticated collocations to describe the transformation of the raw material into the final product.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The grammar is characterized by a lack of sentence variety and punctuation. The entire body paragraph is a single, long sentence, which leads to errors in structure and clarity. There are also missing articles (e.g., 'the method') and issues with verb forms (e.g., 'it is centrifuge' should be 'it is centrifuged'). To improve, focus on using a mix of simple and complex sentences with correct punctuation. Ensure that you use the passive voice consistently, as it is appropriate for describing industrial processes, and check for subject-verb agreement and correct tense usage throughout your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.