Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-17
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
How sugar is produced from sugar cane
Student answer (Band 4.0)
The diagram illustrate the completing task for ready sugar through sugar cane. After analyzing the diagram it can be seen clearly can how sugar is produced from sugar can firstly sugar can growing in 12 to 18 months after that when sugar can growth complete we cutting it and in step three crushing sugar can produce in juice and fourth step we purifying juice from limestone filter and next step evaporator juice becomes syrup in heat and in end of the second stage the centrifuge separates sugar crystals from syrup whilst when that all steps clear and complete we drying and cooling sugar while drying and cooling sugar it complete all steps and ready for peoples and everyone . overall, first sugar can growth and step by steps its complete all stages and rea
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the task achievement score. While the student attempts to describe the stages of the sugar production process, the summary is incomplete and lacks a clear overview of the main features. The description is repetitive and fails to synthesize the information effectively, often listing steps without providing a cohesive summary. Furthermore, the response ends abruptly, leaving the final stages of the process underdeveloped. To improve, the student must ensure all stages are described clearly and provide a comprehensive overview that highlights the key phases of the process.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The text lacks logical organization and paragraphing. It is written as a single, long, run-on sentence structure that makes it difficult to follow the progression of the process. There is a lack of appropriate cohesive devices; the student relies on repetitive phrases like 'after that' and 'next step' rather than using a variety of linking words to connect ideas. The absence of clear paragraph breaks further hinders the flow of information. To improve, the student should organize the response into distinct paragraphs (introduction, overview, and body paragraphs) and use a wider range of transition signals to guide the reader through the stages.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, often relying on basic terms such as 'step', 'ready', and 'complete'. There are several instances of incorrect word usage, such as 'completing task for ready sugar' and 'sugar can' instead of 'sugar cane'. The student struggles to use precise technical vocabulary related to the manufacturing process, such as 'crushing', 'purifying', or 'centrifuge', in a natural or accurate way. To improve, the student should focus on learning topic-specific vocabulary and using more precise verbs and nouns to describe industrial processes, while also paying closer attention to word forms and spelling.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The grammatical control is weak, characterized by a lack of sentence boundaries and frequent errors in verb tense and subject-verb agreement. For example, 'sugar can growing' should be 'sugar cane grows', and 'we cutting it' should be 'it is cut'. The response consists almost entirely of simple, poorly constructed clauses joined by run-on structures. There is no evidence of complex sentence structures. Punctuation is largely absent, which makes the text difficult to parse. The student needs to focus on basic sentence construction, including the correct use of passive voice, which is essential for describing processes, and improving punctuation to separate ideas.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.