Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-21
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
How sugar is produced from sugar cane
Student answer (Band 5.0)
In this diagram shows the manufacturing the process of making sugar from sugar cane, the process start from growing ,the time period of growing is maximum 12 to 18 months includes water supply , syprray and other growing crops materials when the crop is ready for the harvesting then harvesting with the help of human and or fast technology machines.
After harvesting then crushing process is started and sugar cane converted into the juice. This juice is purified through limestone filter,then heat this juice at high temprature and evapurate juice become syrup.
After that centrifuge , seprate sugar crystals from the syrup in thius process. At the stage drying these crystals and cooling ,this is called sugar mean these crystals are called sugar. This process occurs in different mils and industries ,in old days the small points of sugar making are available but technologies make different changes in the daily life.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response identifies the main stages of the sugar production process, from growing to the final product. However, the description is somewhat superficial and lacks a clear overview or summary of the process as a whole. While the key steps are mentioned, the explanation of the transition between stages is often simplistic. The inclusion of irrelevant personal commentary at the end regarding 'technologies' and 'daily life' detracts from the academic tone and does not contribute to the task requirements. To improve, ensure that the overview highlights the cyclical or linear nature of the process and focus strictly on the information provided in the diagram without adding external opinions.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The response is organised into paragraphs, but the logical flow is hindered by awkward phrasing and a lack of effective cohesive devices. Transitions between sentences are often abrupt, such as 'After harvesting then crushing process is started'. The use of referencing is occasionally unclear, and the progression of ideas feels mechanical rather than fluid. While there is an attempt to sequence the stages, the lack of sophisticated linking words makes the text feel disjointed. Improving the use of transition signals (e.g., 'subsequently', 'following this', 'as a result') would significantly enhance the clarity and coherence of the report.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, with several spelling errors that occasionally impede readability, such as 'syprray', 'temprature', 'evapurate', 'seprate', and 'mils'. The range of vocabulary is basic, relying on simple verbs like 'making', 'started', and 'called'. There is little attempt to use precise, technical terminology appropriate for describing a manufacturing process. To reach a higher band, you should focus on learning process-specific vocabulary (e.g., 'extraction', 'refinement', 'crystallisation') and ensure accurate spelling of key terms. Expanding your range of synonyms will also help avoid repetitive phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that affect the overall quality of the writing. There are issues with sentence structure, such as the opening sentence: 'In this diagram shows the manufacturing the process...', which is grammatically incorrect. Subject-verb agreement and article usage are inconsistent throughout. While there is an attempt to use complex structures, they are often faulty or poorly punctuated. The reliance on simple sentence patterns limits the range. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring that every sentence has a clear subject and verb, and proofreading for common errors in tense and word order.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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