Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

How sugar is produced from sugar cane

Student answer (Band 4.0)

first of all seed the sugar cane and wait for 12 to 18 months propably 1year and 6 months if sugar cane growing than harvesting the sugar cane and the crushing all the sugar cane if it convert in the juice form then purifying the juice and evaporate if the juice becomes syrup then centrifuge and seprate the crystals from the syrup and seprate the sugar from crystal and drying and cooling the sugar and that will be convert in the small cube shape and its taste like sweet and good and you use the sugar in a lot of bakery items like cake cream puffs and other etc but the main thing the sugar cane production the production of sugar cane is so hard so caring sugar cane in the session of sugar cane the sugar cane harvesting is so hard you need alot of people like10 to 15 people to harvest the sugar cane and checked all the process of sugar cane

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the requirements of an Academic Task 1 report. Instead of providing an objective summary of the manufacturing process shown in the diagram, the text includes irrelevant personal commentary and subjective opinions, such as 'its taste like sweet and good' and 'the production of sugar cane is so hard'. The response lacks a clear overview and fails to describe the stages of the process accurately or professionally. Much of the content is focused on the difficulty of harvesting rather than the technical steps depicted in the diagram. To improve, you must remain objective, describe only the information provided in the visual, and avoid adding external opinions or conversational filler.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The response is written as a single, long, run-on sentence without paragraphing or appropriate punctuation. There is a lack of logical progression, as the text jumps between process steps and personal observations without clear transitions. Cohesive devices are almost entirely absent, making the text difficult to follow. To improve, you should organize your report into clear paragraphs: an introduction (paraphrasing the prompt), an overview of the main stages, and body paragraphs detailing the specific steps. Use linking words like 'subsequently', 'following this', and 'in the final stage' to guide the reader through the process.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary is very basic and repetitive, relying on simple verbs like 'convert', 'make', and 'do'. There are frequent errors in word choice and form, such as 'seed the sugar cane' (likely referring to planting) and 'in the session of sugar cane'. The vocabulary used is not appropriate for an academic report, as it includes informal phrases like 'good' and 'a lot of'. To improve, you need to learn technical vocabulary related to industrial processes, such as 'crushed', 'purified', 'evaporated', and 'centrifuged', and use them in their correct grammatical forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The response consists of a series of clauses strung together with 'and', lacking proper sentence boundaries or punctuation. There are frequent grammatical errors, including issues with verb tenses ('if sugar cane growing'), subject-verb agreement, and missing articles. The lack of full stops makes it impossible to identify individual sentences, which significantly impacts readability. To improve, you must focus on writing complete, grammatically correct sentences with proper capitalization and punctuation. Practice using a variety of sentence structures, including passive voice, which is essential for describing industrial processes (e.g., 'The juice is purified' instead of 'purifying the juice').

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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