Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

How sugar is produced from sugar cane

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The process chars show the how mak9ing suge from suger cane .

overall, ir is clear that describe how suger produced from sugee cane .

on the one hand , first starting griwing the suger canes in 12-18 months timing glowing suger canes and next process is harvesting by human and electric machine use for harvesting and next is crushing suger canes and gound a juice and use juice and with purifying juice and and use limestone filter in suger canes juice .

on the other hand , afer purifyingt juice next step is evaporator juice becomes syrup afer heat found centrifuge separates suger crtstals from syrup and the last process is dring and cooling the centrifuge . so that swome days relexing the mixiture and after last cooling and drying found the sunger and use for eating . For example for tea and milk .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the score. While the essay attempts to describe the stages of the sugar production process, the information is presented in a fragmented and repetitive manner. Key features, such as the specific stages of crushing, purifying, and evaporation, are mentioned but lack the necessary detail and clarity required for a Band 5 or higher. The overview is extremely weak and does not effectively summarise the main trends or stages of the process. To improve, you must ensure you cover all stages of the diagram clearly and meet the minimum length requirement.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The essay lacks a logical structure. While there is an attempt to use transition words like 'on the one hand' and 'on the other hand', these are used incorrectly and do not help in organizing the information logically. The paragraphing is ineffective, and the flow of ideas is disjointed, making it difficult for the reader to follow the sequence of the manufacturing process. The use of cohesive devices is mechanical and often inaccurate, which hinders the overall progression of the text. You should focus on using clear, simple linking words to connect your sentences and ensure each paragraph has a clear, singular focus.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary is very limited and repetitive, with frequent spelling errors such as 'suger', 'gound', 'purifyingt', and 'crtstals'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to describe the process accurately. Many words are used incorrectly, such as 'timing glowing' or 'relexing the mixiture', which impedes communication. To reach a higher band, you need to learn the specific terminology related to industrial processes (e.g., 'crushed', 'filtered', 'evaporated', 'centrifuged') and focus on accurate spelling. Expanding your vocabulary to include more precise verbs and nouns will help you describe the diagram more effectively.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The grammatical control is weak, with frequent errors in sentence structure, verb forms, and punctuation. Many sentences are incomplete or lack a clear subject-verb agreement, such as 'The process chars show the how mak9ing suge'. There is a lack of complex sentence structures, and the errors present often cause difficulty for the reader. You should focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring that every sentence has a clear subject and a correctly conjugated verb. Practicing the use of simple present tense for describing processes will also help improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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