Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-25
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
How sugar is produced from sugar cane
Student answer (Band 4.0)
The diagram beneath illustrate the recalling procedure for creating sweat thing from sugar cane and this methods from these phenomenon steps. There is one act for sugar cane, where is totally replace in sweat cane and this things supply in different places.
On the other hand, there are six steps, these are telling about their successful ways. increasing the time of sugar cane and take out. third thing, sugar cane is replacing other method from machine and giving warmth.
First step, the timing of sugar cane, which is booting into above the 1.5 years. Second method, Harvesting, this procedure used to both hand and Tucker machine.
In four method, this replaced in liquid shape and limestone filter. However, there were heating juice became in syrup.
Six step, the separates sugar converted crystals from sugar because this process released few minutes and last step, sugar was putting on bigger box for drying and cooling after completed this methods, this sugar transport in many countries and used for various purposes.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response attempts to describe the sugar production process but fails to clearly communicate the stages. While it mentions some steps like harvesting and crushing, the description is often inaccurate (e.g., referring to the process as 'recalling procedure' or 'sweat thing'). The overview is missing, and the main features are not highlighted effectively. The information provided is frequently confusing, making it difficult for the reader to follow the logical flow of the manufacturing process. To improve, focus on accurately identifying the stages shown in the diagram and using precise terminology related to industrial processes.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The use of cohesive devices is often inappropriate or confusing, such as 'On the other hand' used to introduce the process steps, which is not a logical transition here. Referencing is frequently unclear, with pronouns like 'this' and 'these' lacking clear antecedents. The overall structure feels disjointed, and the relationship between the sentences is often difficult to discern. Improving the use of linking words (e.g., 'firstly', 'subsequently', 'following this') would help create a more coherent flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
The vocabulary is very limited and often inappropriate for an academic report. There are frequent errors in word choice, such as 'recalling procedure' instead of 'manufacturing process' and 'sweat thing' instead of 'sugar'. Many phrases are unintelligible or incorrectly used, which significantly impedes communication. The student lacks the necessary technical vocabulary to describe a process (e.g., 'crushing', 'evaporation', 'centrifugation'). A wider range of vocabulary related to processes and industrial production is required to reach a higher band score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often distort the meaning. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'The diagram... illustrate'), incorrect verb tenses, and fragmented sentence structures. Complex sentence attempts are rare and usually contain significant errors. Basic punctuation is present, but the overall control of grammar is weak. To improve, the student should focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring that subjects and verbs agree, and using articles and prepositions correctly. The high frequency of errors makes the text difficult to read.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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