Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-26

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

How sugar is produced from sugar cane

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The diagram given below stipulate the manufacturing cycle for making sugar from sugar cane including first step to last.

Looking from an overall perspective, it is evident that the process of sugar include a seven steps from growing to the drying and cooling.

After analysing the provided data, it is clear that the first step is growing of sugar cane that takes up to 12 to 18 months in fully growing then it is harvested by machine or by labours next it is crushed completely to take juice from it next step is to purify.

Additional to it, it is evaporator under a fire to make the juice syrup then sixth step is centrifuge where the sugar crystals is deprecated from the syrup and then last and seventh phase is to drying and cooling the sugar then it is ready to be served and used in every kind of things.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers the main stages of the process, but the presentation is somewhat mechanical. While you identify the seven steps, the description lacks a clear, analytical overview of the transformation process. The summary is a bit repetitive, and the final sentence is vague ('every kind of things'). To improve, ensure you group the stages logically (e.g., preparation, processing, and refining) rather than just listing them sequentially. You should also focus on describing the physical changes in the sugar cane more precisely, such as the transition from solid cane to juice, syrup, and finally crystals, rather than just stating the steps.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay lacks paragraphing, which is essential for a clear structure in IELTS writing. The progression of ideas is linear but relies heavily on simple connectors like 'next' and 'then'. There is a lack of sophisticated cohesive devices to link the stages of the process effectively. The referencing is sometimes unclear, and the flow between sentences feels disjointed. To achieve a higher band, you should divide your response into an introduction, an overview, and two distinct body paragraphs that group the process stages logically. Using a wider variety of linking words would also improve the overall flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision required for a higher score. There are several word-choice errors, such as 'stipulate' (which is incorrect in this context), 'deprecated' (which means to express disapproval, not separated), and 'evaporator' (which should be the verb 'evaporated'). The range is limited, and the phrasing is often simplistic. To improve, focus on using more accurate terminology related to industrial processes, such as 'extraction', 'crystallisation', and 'refinement', and ensure you use the correct parts of speech when describing the stages.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the process of sugar include', 'sugar crystals is deprecated') and awkward sentence structures. The use of articles is inconsistent, and there is a lack of complex sentence structures. Most sentences are simple or contain errors that distract the reader. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and the correct use of passive voice, which is essential for describing processes. Practising complex sentence construction will also help you demonstrate a wider grammatical range.

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