Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-29
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
How sugar is produced from sugar cane
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The whole process of making of sugar from sugarcane consists of total number of 7 steps from first of all A sugarcane is a high demanding water requirment crop which take total duration of 12-18 months for complete it's Life cycle . We have two methods of harvesting of this one from a crop harvester and another is from men after harvesting crop is gone through crushing machine which excreted juice from crop then our forth step is to purify the solution or juice with the help of limestone filter their functions is to clear impure from juice.After this our fifth step is to give heat to this purified juice in a evaporator due to heat the juice become syrup after this syrup are transferred in a Centrifuge which seprates sugar crystals from syrups after this process our step is to drying and cooling the product means sugar our finals product.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response covers the main stages of the sugar production process, but it fails to present the information in a clear, academic format. The description is overly narrative and lacks a clear overview, which is essential for a Band 6 or higher. The inclusion of irrelevant information about the sugarcane's life cycle (12-18 months) distracts from the process diagram itself. Furthermore, the response lacks a formal structure, appearing as a single, dense paragraph rather than a well-organised report. To improve, focus on grouping the stages logically (e.g., harvesting, processing, and refining) and ensure the overview highlights the transformation from raw material to finished product.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The response is written as a single, long paragraph, which makes it difficult to follow. There is a lack of effective paragraphing to separate the different stages of the process. While some cohesive devices are used, such as 'after this' and 'finally', they are used repetitively and mechanically. The flow of information is somewhat disjointed, and the lack of clear transition between the harvesting stage and the industrial processing stages hinders the overall progression. Using a wider variety of linking words and breaking the text into logical paragraphs based on the stages of the process would significantly improve the coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'high demanding water requirment crop' instead of 'water-intensive crop' and 'excreted juice' instead of 'extracted juice'. The term 'clear impure' is grammatically incorrect; 'remove impurities' would be more appropriate. While the student attempts to use technical terms related to the process (e.g., 'evaporator', 'centrifuge'), the overall control of vocabulary is basic. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise verbs and nouns related to industrial processes and avoid informal phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. There are issues with sentence structure, such as run-on sentences and missing articles (e.g., 'from a crop harvester and another is from men'). Subject-verb agreement is inconsistent, such as 'their functions is to clear'. Punctuation is also problematic, with a lack of proper sentence boundaries, leading to long, confusing strings of clauses. The range of grammatical structures is limited, relying mostly on simple sentences. To improve, focus on using complex sentences with correct subordination and ensuring subject-verb agreement and article usage are accurate.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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