Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-08-30

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

How sugar is produced from sugar cane

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The given diagram illustrates the information about how sugar is made from sugarcane through manufacturing

overall, it is crystal clear that there are five steps of making sugar from sugarcane which starts from growing the sugarcane and ends up with evaporating.

as it is presented in the diagram that firstly, sugarcane is grown for 12 to 18 months then collect to sugarcanes by farmers for harvesting

probing further, collected sugarcanes are crushed by machines for making juice. afterwards juice is purified through using lime filter. by giving heat juice becomes the syrup. Then sugar crystals are removed from syrup. at the last, it is dried and cooled for making the sugar.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the score. While the main stages of the process are identified, the description is overly simplistic and lacks the necessary detail to fully satisfy the task requirements. The overview is present but underdeveloped, and the response fails to provide a comprehensive summary of the process. To improve, you must expand on the descriptions of each stage, ensuring that all steps shown in the diagram are explained with sufficient detail and that the response reaches the required length.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The response is written as a single block of text, lacking proper paragraphing. While there is a basic attempt at logical sequencing using transition words like 'firstly', 'probing further', and 'afterwards', the flow is somewhat mechanical. The lack of clear paragraph structure makes the response feel disjointed. To improve, you should organize your writing into clear paragraphs: an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs that group related stages of the process together. Using a wider variety of cohesive devices will also help improve the logical flow between sentences.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, relying heavily on basic terms such as 'making', 'grown', and 'juice'. There is little evidence of the precise, technical vocabulary required to describe a manufacturing process effectively. For example, 'collect to sugarcanes' is an awkward collocation, and 'probing further' is an inappropriate transition for a process description. To achieve a higher band, you should incorporate more specific terminology related to industrial processes, such as 'extraction', 'refinement', 'centrifugation', and 'evaporation', and focus on using more accurate collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. There are issues with article usage ('the sugar'), verb forms ('collect to sugarcanes'), and sentence structure. Many sentences are simple or contain errors in word order. For instance, 'it is crystal clear that there are five steps of making sugar' is wordy and grammatically clunky. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence structures and proofreading for common errors like subject-verb agreement and preposition usage. Increasing the use of passive voice, which is essential for describing processes, would also improve your range and accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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