Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

How sugar is produced from sugar cane

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The diagram illustrates the process of how manufacture of sugar cane.

It is clear that, the manufacturing process of sugar from sugar cane consist of several different stages and a number of different tools from the cultivation of sugarcane to the production of the final sugar product.

At fast the stages, o the f sugar can is planted and grown for around over the year . After the maturation period, the sugar cane is harvested either manually by human labors or by machines. Nest , the harvested sugar cane crushing in a tools to extract the juice.

In the following stage, the extracted is purifying using a limestone in the filter. After that, juice is become syrup separates sugar crystai from the syrup In the following stages , sugar cane is drying and cooling in the sun then ready the sugar cane produce make the sugar cane that we consume.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response covers the main stages of the process, from cultivation to the final product. However, the description is somewhat superficial. While you mention harvesting, crushing, purifying, and refining, the explanation of these stages is often unclear or inaccurate (e.g., 'juice is become syrup'). The summary lacks a clear overview of the transformation process, and some details are missing or confusing, such as the specific role of the centrifuge or the evaporation process. To improve, ensure you clearly describe the sequence of events and the purpose of each stage shown in the diagram, rather than just listing them.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is divided into short paragraphs, which helps with structure. However, the logical progression is frequently interrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear transitions. While you use some cohesive devices like 'At first', 'After that', and 'In the following stage', the flow is often mechanical. The referencing is sometimes confusing, particularly when you refer to 'a tools' or 'the extracted', which makes it difficult for the reader to follow the process step-by-step. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one will significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive, with several errors in word choice and word formation. For example, you use 'manufacture' as a noun in an incorrect context and 'crystai' (spelling error). Phrases like 'a tools' and 'the extracted' demonstrate a lack of precision in terminology. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more specific vocabulary related to industrial processes, such as 'extraction', 'evaporation', 'centrifugation', and 'purification'. Additionally, focus on using nouns and verbs correctly to describe the stages of the process accurately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text that occasionally impede communication. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('process... consist of'), incorrect verb forms ('the harvested sugar cane crushing'), and missing articles or incorrect pluralization ('a tools', 'the sugar can'). The sentence structures are mostly simple, and attempts at more complex sentences often result in errors, such as 'then ready the sugar cane produce make the sugar cane'. To improve, focus on basic sentence construction, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of articles and prepositions.

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