Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
How sugar is produced from sugar cane
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The diagram illustrates the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Overall, the sugar is produced from the sugar cane with the six steps. The sugar cane is growing over the 12 - 18 months. Looking at the data in more detail, first thing is growing of sugar cane of 12-18 months, then second is harvesting the farmers harvest the sugarcanes after 12-18 months, and they use machines or the transport to collect the sugarcane. after collecting it they crush the sugarcane with the use of machine.Then after crushing it they purify the sugarcane juice with the limestone filter. Regarding the remaining figures, after purifying the juice they evaporator on the heat and then the juice becomes syrup , then they separate the sugar crystals from the syrup. Then after doing that they dry the sugar syrup and put them to be cool. So this is the process of making sugar from the sugarcane.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response covers the main stages of the process, from growing to the final product. However, the description is somewhat repetitive and lacks a clear, professional overview. While the key steps are identified, the response relies heavily on listing the stages rather than synthesizing the information. The inclusion of '12-18 months' is accurate, but the explanation of the process could be more concise and analytical. To improve, focus on grouping related stages (e.g., preparation, extraction, and refinement) to provide a more structured summary of the manufacturing cycle.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The response is organized into paragraphs, but the flow between sentences is somewhat mechanical. The use of cohesive devices like 'first thing', 'then', and 'regarding the remaining figures' is repetitive and simplistic. The transition between the growing phase and the industrial processing phase is abrupt. To reach a higher band, you should use a wider variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more fluidly, and ensure that each paragraph has a clear thematic focus rather than just listing steps sequentially.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks variety and precision. You frequently repeat words like 'sugar', 'sugarcane', and 'juice'. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'evaporator on the heat' instead of 'evaporated using heat'. To improve, try to use more precise technical vocabulary related to industrial processes, such as 'crushed', 'purified', 'crystallized', and 'centrifuged', and avoid repeating the same nouns throughout the text.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Examples include 'the sugar is produced... with the six steps' (incorrect preposition), 'first thing is growing of sugar cane' (missing articles and awkward phrasing), and 'they evaporator on the heat' (incorrect verb form). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with some run-on sentences and missing commas. Improving control over verb tenses and article usage will significantly enhance the clarity and accuracy of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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