Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-06

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

How sugar is produced from sugar cane

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The picture graph illustrates the visual manufacturing steps, which is produced by sugar cane to make sugar.

Overall, it is vivid that it starts with growing sugar canes, while it is ended by cooling and drying sugar.

By scrutinizing this analysis, Is is conspicuous that there is a one and half year process to grow sugar canes. After that, either it is cut manually or by utilizing heavy machine. However, it has to go through from crushing process, which assist to make a juice from sugar canes.

Further emphasizing, for purifying the juice, workers use the Limestone filter machine. Later, heating process has begun,

juice is becoming syrup slowly via Evaporator. After heating, the remaining sugar crystals has been separated from syrup. At last, sugar is ready after d

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the score. While you have identified the main stages of the process, the description is incomplete, ending abruptly mid-sentence ('sugar is ready after d'). Because the task is unfinished, you have not fully reported all the main features of the diagram. To improve, ensure you describe the entire process from start to finish, including the final stages of centrifugation and drying, and provide a more comprehensive overview that captures the essence of the transformation without being overly repetitive.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organized into short paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the sequence of events. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and occasionally awkward, such as 'By scrutinizing this analysis' and 'Further emphasizing'. The progression of ideas is interrupted by the incomplete ending, which leaves the reader without a sense of closure. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words that flow more naturally between sentences, and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, complete focus that contributes to the overall logical flow of the report.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for describing a process, but it lacks the precision and variety expected at higher bands. You rely on basic verbs like 'make' and 'growing'. There are also some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'picture graph' (it is a diagram) and 'it is ended by'. The vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, and the incomplete nature of the text limits your ability to demonstrate a wider range of technical terms related to manufacturing processes. Aim to use more specific terminology, such as 'extraction', 'refinement', and 'crystallization'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including issues with passive voice construction ('which is produced by sugar cane' should be 'which is produced from sugar cane') and subject-verb agreement ('the remaining sugar crystals has been separated' should be 'have been separated'). The sentence structures are relatively simple, and the attempt at more complex structures often results in errors. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the incomplete final sentence. Focus on mastering basic sentence structures and proofreading for common errors like pluralization and verb tense consistency.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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