Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

How sugar is produced from sugar cane

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The given process chart illustrates the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane:

During the first step, the sugar canes are grown for about 12-18 months, afterwards sugar cane is harvested then, are crushed subsequently, the juice is purified by the usage of limestone filter, moving forward by the process of evaporation the the juice turns into a syrup, afterwards, by the process of centrifuge crystals from syrup are seperated, moving forward , the sugar crystals are separated from syrup , afterwards sugar is dried and cooled. This whole process consists of 7 steps in total.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response is significantly under the 150-word minimum requirement, which severely impacts the ability to fully address the task. While the student identifies the main stages of the process, the description is overly simplistic and lacks the necessary detail to provide a comprehensive summary. The response fails to group information logically or highlight key comparisons, such as the transition from raw material to finished product. Because the response is only 97 words, it does not provide a sufficient overview or adequately develop the information presented in the diagram, leading to a low score for task achievement.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5

The response is written as a single, long, run-on sentence, which makes it difficult to follow. The use of cohesive devices is repetitive and mechanical, relying heavily on 'afterwards' and 'moving forward' to link ideas. There is no paragraphing, and the lack of punctuation between clauses creates a disjointed flow. The logical progression is hindered by the lack of sentence structure, as the ideas are simply listed rather than organized into a coherent report. To improve, the student should use a variety of linking words and break the text into logical paragraphs.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is basic and repetitive, consisting mostly of words taken directly from the prompt. There is little evidence of a range of vocabulary suitable for describing a technical process. For instance, the student uses the word 'process' multiple times and relies on simple verbs like 'grown', 'crushed', and 'dried'. There are also spelling errors, such as 'seperated' instead of 'separated'. To achieve a higher band, the student needs to use more precise terminology related to manufacturing and industrial processes, as well as a wider variety of verbs and nouns to describe the stages.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

The grammatical structure is very weak, characterized by a lack of sentence boundaries and frequent punctuation errors. The entire response is essentially one long, comma-spliced sentence. There is a lack of complex sentence structures, and the control over basic grammar is inconsistent, as seen in the phrase 'the the juice'. The reliance on simple, repetitive structures limits the range of grammar demonstrated. To improve, the student must focus on using full stops to separate independent clauses and incorporating a variety of complex sentence forms, such as passive voice constructions, which are essential for process descriptions.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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