Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

How sugar is produced from sugar cane

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The diagram illustrates the seven stage process about the manufacturing of sugar initiating from growing sugarcane to the end stage of obtaining sugar.

Overall, it can be evident that the procedure has do undergo various manual and mechanical processes.

The stage one starts by cultivating the crops of sugarcane for about a year or more, which is then harvested by a thresher or a machinery and even man force is utilized for the sake. Furthermore, the sugar cane is crushed to extract the juice which is then purified with the assistance of limestone filter. Additionally the juice is heated in a barrel shaped evaporator to obtain syrup from juice, whereas the centrifuge process facilitates for segregating the sugar crystals from the obtained syrup. Finally the drying and cooling of the crystals for obtaining sugar under various temperatures or an appropriate or required temperature which is then sold to the various companies or organisation for further selling in the form of sugar;in various markets and is available to the consumers.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers all stages of the process, from cultivation to the final product. However, the overview is somewhat weak; it describes the process as 'manual and mechanical' rather than highlighting the key stages or the transformation involved. While the main features are identified, the description of the final stage is slightly repetitive and includes unnecessary information about the sugar being sold to companies, which is not depicted in the diagram. To improve, focus on the technical transformation of the raw material into the final product and ensure the overview clearly summarizes the main stages of the process.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into three paragraphs, which is a logical structure for a process description. The progression of ideas is generally clear, moving chronologically through the steps. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'for the sake' or 'whereas the centrifuge process facilitates for segregating'. Additionally, the final sentence is run-on and lacks proper punctuation, which disrupts the flow of information. Using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence is clearly connected to the previous one would improve the coherence of the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, with terms like 'cultivating', 'evaporator', and 'centrifuge' used correctly. However, there are some instances of imprecise word choice and awkward collocations, such as 'man force' instead of 'manual labor' and 'seven stage process about' instead of 'seven-stage process for'. The phrase 'for the sake' is also used incorrectly in this context. While the range is sufficient to convey the meaning, more precise terminology and better control over collocations would elevate the score. Avoid informal phrasing and ensure technical terms are used accurately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The response uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'the procedure has do undergo' (should be 'has to undergo') and 'the drying and cooling... which is then sold' (a sentence fragment/run-on issue). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly in the final paragraph where a semicolon is misused and the sentence structure becomes convoluted. While the meaning remains clear, these frequent errors in grammar and punctuation prevent the response from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and sentence boundary control will be beneficial.

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