Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-12

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

How sugar is produced from sugar cane

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The process of making shugar from shugar cane :

Sugar cane mostly take the time of growing in between 12 to 18 months the farmer through out the season take full care of the crops and sensatiolly look after the sugar cane . Then after being prepared the sugar cane are harvested the harvesting process also take time and is a bit difficult process . After being harvested the sugar cane go through the process of crushing the sugar canes are crushed and the juice like material from the sugar cane is out which then juices are gone to different factories for the purification where the juices are mostly purified the impure material are out from the pure one . Then that pure juice are moved towards the evaporater where the juices are evaporated and converted in the form of syrup . When the syrup is ready still there are crystals like material in it which are separated into the centrifuge machine and the syrup is in totally pure material . Then the last and final process is drying the syrup is dryed in the containers and form the shape sugar . The that sugar is suppiled to the general stores and through that general stores is moved towards our home .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response attempts to summarise the main stages of the sugar manufacturing process, starting from growing and harvesting through to crushing, purification, evaporation, centrifugation, and finally drying. However, the overview is rather narrative and descriptive rather than analytical, and important comparisons or key structural features of the diagram are missed. The text lacks an introductory overview paragraph, which is essential for Task 1, and relies heavily on a chronological listing of steps. While all visible stages are mentioned, the lack of well-organised grouping prevents the response from achieving a higher band. Consequently, the task is addressed only partially, placing it at a Band 5.0.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The response suffers from severe issues with paragraphing, as the entire text is written as a single, massive run-on block without any clear divisions between introduction, body stages, and conclusion. While basic sequential connectors like 'Then' and 'After being harvested' are used to link the steps chronologically, their repetitive usage makes the progression mechanical. Furthermore, punctuation is largely neglected, with comma splices connecting distinct clauses throughout the text (e.g., '...crushed the sugar canes are crushed and the juice like material from the sugar cane is out which then juices are gone...'). This lack of structural control and paragraphing significantly hinders readability, warranting a Band 4.0.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, featuring numerous spelling errors such as 'shugar' instead of 'sugar' and 'evaporater' instead of 'evaporator'. The writer relies on informal or imprecise phrases like 'juice like material' and 'pure material' rather than precise technical terms depicted in the diagram, such as 'cane juice', 'bagasse', or 'molasses'. Although the basic meaning can be extracted, the restricted range and frequent lexical and spelling inaccuracies restrict the score to a Band 4.5.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

Grammatical control is weak throughout the response. The text is characterised by severe run-on sentences and a lack of proper punctuation, resulting in sentences that drag on without clear boundaries. There are numerous basic grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('the sugar cane mostly take') and awkward passive voice formations ('the syrup is dryed'). Complex structures are rarely attempted accurately, and simple structures frequently contain errors. Because errors are very frequent and occasionally distort the intended meaning, the response fits the descriptor for Band 4.0.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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