Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

How sugar is produced from sugar cane

Student answer (Band 4.5)

THE diagram depicts the stages involved in the production of sugar to sugar cane from growing and harvest to the final product.

overall,it is clear that the process consists of seven stages of process of making sugar can to sugar production begin with growing and harvesting and culminating in sugar cane.

At the first stage sugar canes take 12 to 18 months for ground.it is then harvesting wit combien machines after which sugar canes crushed into a machine one this stage is complete sugar can turm into a liquid form.subsequent juice is tranferred to a limestone filter then evaporator process star juice become a syrup following this syrup is fed into a centrifuge the material is then seprated into crstal of sugar onece this stage is completed the resulting product converted into a drying and cooling product at this last step after that sugar canes turn into sugar and ready to distrubted into local markets

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The student attempts to cover all stages of the sugar cane manufacturing process, from growing and harvesting to the final cooling and distribution stages. However, the overview paragraph is poorly constructed, repetitive, and fails to clearly highlight the main features of the process. While the individual steps such as crushing, filtering, evaporation, and centrifugation are mentioned in sequence, the lack of a clear, coherent overview and poor integration of data restrict the response to a Band 5.0 level. The student attempts to outline the process, but the information is often presented in a fragmented manner, making it difficult to follow the overall transformation clearly.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The response suffers from significant organizational flaws. The paragraphing is severely disrupted; the entire body of the process is squashed into a single, run-on block of text without adequate separation. Cohesive devices are either missing, misused, or overly simplistic, as seen in phrases like 'At the first stage', 'one this stage is complete', and 'at this last step after that'. The progression of ideas is frequently blocked by a lack of punctuation and poor linking between clauses. Consequently, the flow is mechanical and disjointed, aligning closely with Band 4.0 descriptors.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is very basic and often inaccurate. The student relies on repetitive phrasing and direct, sometimes distorted, lifts from the prompt, such as 'sugar to sugar cane', 'sugar can turm into', and 'distrubted'. There are numerous spelling errors ('combien', 'seprated', 'crstal', 'onece', 'distrubted') and incorrect word forms ('for ground', 'harvesting wit', 'drying and cooling product'). While the response contains enough basic vocabulary to attempt the task, the constant errors in word choice, spelling, and collocation impede communication at times, supporting a Band 4.5 or rounded 5.0 score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

Grammatical control is weak throughout the response. The text is plagued by run-on sentences, missing punctuation, and frequent fragmentations. There are numerous foundational errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('sugar canes take 12 to 18 months for ground', 'juice become a syrup'), incorrect prepositions, and faulty voice construction ('the resulting product converted into'). Complex structures are rarely attempted accurately, and simple sentences often contain severe errors. Because errors are frequent, pervasive, and frequently distort meaning, the writing falls squarely into Band 4.0.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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