Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

How sugar is produced from sugar cane

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The provided diagram illustrates the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Overall, it is readily apparent that while growing experienced an upward trend throughout the period, sugar canes followed a contrasting pattern, with the remaining categories showing distinct variations.

A closer examination of the data reveals that in 12 to 18 months, growing stood at 12 to 18 months, which was considerably higher than harvesting. Over the subsequent period crushing steadily, eventually reaching a peak of 12 months by the end of the period.Conversely, drying and cooling exhibited a persistent trend, reaching by the conclusion of the timeframe.

With regard to the remaining data, heat commenced at evaporator and underwent a fluctuating pattern before settling at centrifuge in the final stage. Meanwhile, minor fluctuations characterized the intermediate data points, though the overall distribution remained relatively distinct among all categories.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response attempts to summarise the diagram illustrating the sugar manufacturing process, but it fails to meet the minimum length requirement of 150 words, containing only 141 words. Furthermore, the content reflects a fundamental misunderstanding of the visual data. The student treats the process steps (such as growing, harvesting, crushing, and drying) as chronological time periods or data trends with upward and downward trajectories, stating that 'growing stood at 12 to 18 months' and referring to 'an upward trend throughout the period.' This confuses a linear manufacturing flowchart with statistical time-series data. Consequently, the main features of the process are not accurately reported or compared.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The text is divided into paragraphs and attempts an overall structure with introductory and concluding remarks. However, the logical progression is severely undermined by the inaccurate treatment of the process as statistical data. Cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'Conversely', and 'With regard to the remaining data' are used mechanically and do not connect actual process steps in a meaningful sequence. Paragraphing is present, but the internal cohesion fails to create a clear, logical account of how sugar is produced from sugar cane.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is largely inappropriate for a process diagram. Terms like 'upward trend', 'peak', and 'fluctuating pattern' are misapplied to manufacturing stages. While the student attempts some less common vocabulary related to the topic (such as 'evaporator', 'centrifuge', 'crushing'), the lexical choices frequently result in nonsensical phrases like 'heat commenced at evaporator'. The range is limited and inappropriate for describing a mechanical process, causing significant confusion for the reader.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but many sentences are grammatically incomplete or semantically incoherent due to lexical misuse, such as in the sentence: 'Over the subsequent period crushing steadily, eventually reaching a peak of 12 months by the end of the period.' There are missing verbs and confused subjects ('heat commenced at evaporator'). While some basic structures are formed correctly, frequent structural errors and awkward phrasing impede communication.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.