Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-16
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
How sugar is produced from sugar cane
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The diagram gives information about how sugar produce from sugar came in different stapes. Allover, the sugar canes grown in farm, and then harvesting it after that, go in factory and made sugar.
First of all sugar canes take 12 to 18 months for growing in farm. follow by, farmers harvesting them by cutting & withe the help of mercenaries. After that, sugar cans are go in crushing and sugar juice is come out.
Fourth step of Process is purifying juice with help of Limestone filter. Then It goes for Evaporate. in this part heat given to the sugar juice and extra water from Liquid is evaporate and being thick. The sugar juice become syrup.
In sixth step this syrup centrifuge in which sugar crystals and come out from syrup. moreover, in last step. this substance go in drying & cooling Process result come out as sugar in solid form.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The student attempts to summarise the diagram illustrating the sugar production process, covering the main stages from growing and harvesting to crushing, purifying, evaporating, centrifuging, and finally drying and cooling. However, there are significant flaws in task completion. The overview is extremely brief and poorly formulated ('Allover, the sugar canes grown in farm, and then harvesting it after that, go in factory and made sugar'). Furthermore, several mechanical details are misinterpreted or expressed very confusingly, such as mentioning 'mercenaries' instead of machinery/mechanical harvesters. While the general sequence of steps is discernible, the lack of precision and underdeveloped overview place this response firmly in the Band 5 category.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The response is divided into four short paragraphs, attempting to mirror the sequential nature of the process diagram. However, coherence is heavily disrupted by poor referencing, grammatical errors, and mechanical transitions such as 'First of all', 'follow by', and 'Fourth step of Process is'. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal cohesion is faulty and repetitive. Transitional devices are used inaccurately ('Then It goes for Evaporate. in this part...'), leading to a disjointed reading experience. The overall progression lacks the smooth flow expected at higher bands, aligning with the descriptors for Band 4.5 to 5.0.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
The lexical range is very basic and heavily flawed by spelling and word-choice errors that occasionally impede communication. Examples include 'sugar produce' instead of production, 'sugar came' instead of cane, 'stapes' instead of stages, and a humorous misuse of 'mercenaries' instead of machinery or mechanical harvesters. Other errors like 'sugar cans are go in crushing' demonstrate limited control over word forms and collocations. While basic process vocabulary such as 'juice', 'syrup', and 'crystals' is present, the frequent vocabulary and spelling errors restrict the score to Band 4.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
Grammatical range is extremely limited, relying mostly on simple sentences with frequent, severe structural errors. Examples include 'sugar canes take 12 to 18 months for growing', 'farmers harvesting them', 'sugar cans are go in crushing', and 'heat given to the sugar juice and extra water from Liquid is evaporate and being thick'. Punctuation and capitalization are also erratic (e.g., lowercase 'i' used as a pronoun, random capitalization in 'Evaporate. in this part'). Because errors occur in almost every sentence and frequently distort meaning, the response fits the Band 4.0 descriptors.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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