Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-19
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
How sugar is produced from sugar cane
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The presented diagram demonstrates how sugar is make from sugar cane in some steps.
Overall, the process is quite lengthy and can be devided into 7 steps starting from growing plants to the end of sugar.
To bein with, first formers grows 12 to 18 months sugar cane plant then in the second step, they harvest it both by mechanically or physically. Then crushing the sugar canes and separate the juice from it in the containers. In the forth step, they purifying the juice by using limestone filters.
Furthermore, the next step is quite lengthy, which is the heating process , In this, put the jar into the heat and after evaporating start juice becomes in the form of syrup. next step is the separating process, in this process , centrifuge it and separates sugar crystals from syrup. In the last step, after drying and cooling this syrup, it then become sugar which is then deliver to the supermarkets from where we buy it and use it.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The student attempts to summarise all stages of the sugar manufacturing process, starting from growing and harvesting through to drying and cooling. An overview is provided, noting that the process is lengthy and consists of seven steps. However, the response contains several inaccuracies and extraneous personal commentary not present in the diagram, such as 'which is then deliver to the supermarkets from where we buy it and use it.' Furthermore, some stages are described vaguely or incorrectly, such as 'put the jar into the heat' and 'first formers grows 12 to 18 months sugar cane plant.' While all parts of the task are addressed, the development of ideas lacks precision and contains irrelevant details, aligning this response with Band 5.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The response is divided into paragraphs, attempting an overall structure with an introduction, an overview, and body paragraphs detailing the steps. However, the logical progression is frequently disrupted by awkward transitions and poor referencing. Cohesive devices are either repetitive or inaccurate, such as 'To bein with', 'In this', and 'next step'. Paragraphing is attempted, but the grouping of information is somewhat confused, particularly in the final paragraph where multiple steps are crammed together with colloquial phrasing. This places the response firmly in Band 5.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
The vocabulary used is basic, repetitive, and heavily relies on words directly lifted from the prompt or contains severe word-formation and spelling errors. Examples include 'make' instead of 'made', 'devided' instead of 'divided', 'formers' instead of 'farmers', and 'purifying' used incorrectly as 'they purifying'. Attempts to use less common vocabulary fail due to inaccurate collocations and word forms, such as 'mechanically or physically' instead of 'manually or mechanically'. These errors occasionally impede communication and restrict the lexical score to a Band 4.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The essay displays a very limited range of grammatical structures. Most sentences contain frequent, noticeable errors that strain the reader and obscure meaning. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues like 'first formers grows', tense and voice errors like 'sugar is make', and fragmented or run-on structures such as 'after evaporating start juice becomes in the form of syrup'. Punctuation is also problematic, featuring comma splices and misplaced capitalization. Because errors are pervasive and impede smooth reading, the grammar performance corresponds to Band 4.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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