Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-21
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
How sugar is produced from sugar cane
Student answer (Band 4.0)
The given process diagram elucidates the mass manufacturing of sugar cane . The process is a jiont venture of humans and machines which work togather for a singal final product .
Overall , it can be seen the mass producation of sugar cane is carried out by the following more than five distinctive steps . Additionally , the process start Harvesting the sugar canes at the end of drying and cooling the final product . Furthermore , all step is very important with the conected each other .
Talking about inital step , the first step is harvesting , and then the following of second step crushing , and the third purifying juice , four step is Evaporater ( juice become syrup), and the second last step is Centrifuge (separators sugar crysatle from syrup ) , At the end of final product explain , the final product is very important Drying and cooling .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5
The response attempts to summarise the diagram illustrating the process of manufacturing sugar from sugar cane, meeting the minimum word requirement. However, the task achievement is significantly limited. While the writer mentions the topic and a few steps such as harvesting, crushing, purifying, evaporating, and centrifuging, the description is extremely vague and contains inaccurate sequencing. For instance, the text claims that the process starts harvesting at the end of drying and cooling, which misrepresents the chronological flow of the diagram. Furthermore, key details such as the growing period (12-18 months), the two distinct harvesting methods, the limestone filter, and the heat source are omitted or unclearly expressed. Consequently, the response only partially addresses the task and lacks a clear, fully developed overview of the main features and stages.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The coherence and cohesion of the response are severely compromised by poor logical organisation and repetitive, confusing phrasing. Although paragraph breaks are attempted, they do not serve a clear structural purpose in guiding the reader through the stages of the process. Cohesive devices are used awkwardly or inaccurately, such as 'Additionally, the process start Harvesting...' and 'Furthermore, all step is very important with the conected each other.' Transitions between sentences feel disjointed, and the chronological progression of the linear process is obscured by jumbled referencing, making it difficult to follow the sequence of steps from start to finish.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
The lexical resource displayed is basic and limited, with frequent spelling errors that occasionally impede understanding. The student uses words related to the topic, such as 'manufacturing', 'sugar cane', 'harvesting', 'crushing', and 'evaporator', but struggles with word formation and spelling, as seen in 'jiont', 'togather', 'singal', 'producan', 'conected', 'inital', 'Evaporater', 'become', and 'crysatle'. While a few process-related terms are borrowed directly from the prompt, the student's own vocabulary is heavily restricted and inaccurate, preventing the use of less common lexical items with precision or appropriate style.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The grammatical range is extremely limited, relying heavily on simple sentence patterns interspersed with frequent, severe errors. There is a lack of control over basic syntax, subject-verb agreement, and verb tenses. Examples of grammatical errors include 'the process start Harvesting' (incorrect verb form), 'all step is very important' (singular/plural mismatch and missing copula agreement), and 'At the end of final product explain' (ungrammatical clause structure). Punctuation is also erratic, with spaces incorrectly placed before commas. These persistent errors frequently cause difficulty for the reader and demonstrate a weak foundation in sentence construction.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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