Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

How sugar is produced from sugar cane

Student answer (Band 4.0)

this image showing the production process for making sugar from sugar cane,

sugar cane growing to 12-18 months and sugar produced from to sugar cane,i have needed sugrar every day in our life,

i see this picture seven stepe mathode in this image use to sugar produced.

first fall i needed some farm for growing to sugar canes, i would like first fall harvesting and then crushing ,and further purifiying juce evaporator and juce become syrup and last image drying aand cooling

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response falls significantly short of the required 150-word minimum, containing only 82 words. Consequently, the task is only partially addressed. While the student attempts to outline the stages of the sugar production process—mentioning 'growing to 12-18 months', 'harvesting', 'crushing', 'purifiying juce', 'evaporator', and 'drying aand cooling'—the information is presented in a fragmented, list-like manner with personal commentary ('i have needed sugrar every day in our life') rather than a formal academic summary. To improve, the writer must ensure the full word count is met, provide a clear overall overview of the process, and describe the stages objectively without personal insertions.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The text lacks proper paragraphing and cohesive devices, resulting in poor overall organisation and progression. The response is written as a single block of disconnected clauses and run-on sentences, such as 'sugar cane growing to 12-18 months and sugar produced from to sugar cane,i have needed sugrar every day in our life'. Although transitional words like 'first fall' and 'then' are attempted, they are used incorrectly or informally. There is no clear logical structure grouping the stages of the diagram together. To achieve a higher band, the student needs to organise ideas into coherent paragraphs and use a wider range of appropriate cohesive devices to link the process steps smoothly.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is very basic, repetitive, and heavily reliant on words lifted directly from the prompt ('sugar cane', 'growing', 'harvesting', 'crushing'). There are also multiple spelling and word-form errors, such as 'sugrar' for sugar, 'stepe mathode' for step method, 'purifiying juce' for purifying juice, and 'dand' for and. The range of vocabulary is severely limited and inadequate for an academic task, frequently straining the reader's comprehension. To improve, the student should build a vocabulary related to industrial processes and learn correct spellings of common technical and general terms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 3.5

Grammatical control is extremely weak throughout the response. The text contains major structural errors, run-on sentences, and fragment sentences lacking main verbs (e.g., 'this image showing the production process...'). There is a complete lack of control over complex structures, and punctuation is largely neglected, with comma splices connecting unrelated clauses. Errors are frequent and often impede the clarity of the message. To progress, the student needs to focus on basic sentence construction, ensuring every sentence has a subject and a finite verb, and learn how to form accurate complex sentences using subordinate clauses.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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