Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-26

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

How sugar is produced from sugar cane

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The diagram shows a manufacturing process of sugar making and sugar cane. there are seven processes to making sugar first we have how to growing sugar and used different products to making sugar additionally bring s sugar cane.

overall,it can bi observe that the first things is growing sugar plant to it's gross in 12 to 18 months in that time of period do take care of plants properly. moreover a second process is a main for each and every thing in that case we use harvesting to cut a sugar plants to more process after that start a major process crushing the plants and bring a juice and filling in to sugar canes and fill in to the filtering to purifying juice.

Furthermore,In that case we where start ma last and major process to bring a usefully sugar to use in every thing five

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response falls short of the minimum 150-word requirement, containing only 145 words, which incurs a penalty under Task Achievement. While the student attempts to describe the main stages of the sugar manufacturing process—such as growing, harvesting, crushing, and purifying—the overview is extremely fragmented and lacks clarity. Several parts of the process are either misrepresented or left underdeveloped, and the final steps are incomplete and trailing off. Key features like the two distinct harvesting methods or the specific roles of the evaporator and centrifuge are largely missed or poorly communicated, leading to an overall partial coverage of the diagram's contents.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response lacks a clear logical organisation and progression. Although there are some transitional attempts such as 'overall' and 'Furthermore', the paragraphing is poor and the overall arrangement becomes increasingly disjointed as the text progresses. Cohesive devices are used inaccurately or repetitively, such as the repeated phrases 'in that case' and 'to making sugar'. The sentences do not flow logically from one stage of the process to the next, making it difficult for the reader to follow the sequence of the diagram, resulting in a weak score for cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

Vocabulary usage is very basic, repetitive, and frequently inaccurate. The student relies heavily on simple words and phrases, often misusing them in context, such as 'sugar making and sugar cane', 'how to growing sugar', and 'bring a juice'. There are noticeable lexical errors, including word-form and collocation issues ('gross' instead of 'grow', 'products' instead of 'processes'), which severely restrict the range of vocabulary and frequently strain the reader's understanding.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The grammatical range is extremely limited, consisting mostly of poorly constructed, fragmented, and run-on sentences. There is a complete lack of accurate complex structures. Punctuation and capitalization are frequently ignored or misused (e.g., lowercase letters at the start of sentences like 'overall,it can bi observe'). Frequent errors in verb tenses, prepositions, and clause structure (e.g., 'where start ma last and major process') cause significant difficulty for the reader and impede clear communication.

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