Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-29

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

How sugar is produced from sugar cane

Student answer (Band 4.0)

the diagram showes that the manufacturing and the process of making sugar from sugar cane. sugar cane take time to grow around 12 to 18 months and also good soil and water aslo after growing periods gets over the hervesting prosess started the farmer harvest by there hand and if the there is large field then they use machinery to hervest suger cane after that it goes to the factory and the crushing process was done and all the juice come from the process that is purifyed by the limestone filter then after that the evaporator process done and the juice become the syrup and the syrup looks like a thike jam and then the centrifuge process started in that the separaterd suger crystals from syrup were taken out the at the end we get the hight number of dry and cool sugar.

in this process all the things are done machine and in some remote are they do in there home and also they sell to there own village.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The student attempts to summarize the process of making sugar from sugar cane, covering the main stages from growing and harvesting through crushing, purifying, evaporating, centrifuging, and drying/cooling. However, the response suffers from significant weaknesses in task completion. Notably, the writing is presented as a single continuous block of text with a second short paragraph that introduces irrelevant and factually unsupported personal speculation ('in some remote are they do in there home and also they sell to there own village'). Furthermore, the description lacks a clear overview, and some details are inaccurate or colloquial (e.g., describing syrup as 'thike jam'). Because key features are presented with numerous inaccuracies and unsupported information rather than a clear academic summary, this falls under Band 4.5 descriptors.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

Coherence is severely hindered by poor paragraphing and the lack of standard academic formatting. The entire first description is written as a massive run-on sentence joined by a string of coordinating conjunctions and transitional phrases like 'and also', 'then after that', and 'and then'. There are no clear sentence boundaries, periods, or punctuation marks to guide the reader through the seven distinct stages of the diagram. The second paragraph is disconnected and introduces irrelevant ideas. While basic chronological sequencing is attempted, the complete lack of proper punctuation and paragraph division prevents logical progression, aligning with Band 4.0.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.0

The lexical range is basic and repetitive, frequently relying on simple functional terms like 'process', 'things', and 'sugar cane'. There are multiple spelling and word-choice errors, such as 'showes' instead of 'shows', 'hervesting prosess' instead of 'harvesting process', 'there hand' instead of 'their hand', and 'thike jam' instead of 'thick jam'. The student attempts some less common vocabulary items related to the diagram, such as 'machinery', 'limestone filter', and 'centrifuge', but inaccuracies in spelling and collocation limit precision. This demonstrates the characteristics of Band 4.0 vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

Grammatical control is extremely weak. The entire response lacks proper punctuation, consisting mostly of run-on clauses linked by 'and' without capital letters at the beginning of sentences or full stops to separate independent thoughts. There are numerous structural errors, such as 'sugar cane take time', 'gets over the hervesting prosess started', and 'the juice come from the process that is purifyed'. Complex sentence structures are non-existent or heavily flawed due to poor subordination and punctuation. Because errors dominate and frequently impede smooth reading, this performance corresponds to Band 4.0.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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