Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-09-29

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

How sugar is produced from sugar cane

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The diagram illustrates the making of sugar from sugar cane.

Overall, firstly the crop of sugar cane takes up to 12 to 18 months to grow completely, once it grows than comes the harvesting process which involves both the machinery and human effort as well, after that comes the crushing step in this phase sugar canes are put into a machine and juice of the sugar cane comes out.

In the next step this juice is need to purify in a container which holds a limestone filter. after the filtration, this filtered juice went into a constantly heating container in this process evaporation occurs and the juice turns into a syrup. in the next step which is the second last step this liquid syrup went into a centrifuge, which separates sugar crystals from syrup. and at last sugar pour into a big compartment for drying and cooling of these crystal particels and after cooling these particels are called the sugar

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response successfully covers all main stages of the linear sugar manufacturing process, from growing and harvesting through to crushing, purification, evaporation, centrifugation, and final drying/cooling. The overview provided in the opening sentence and paragraph captures the general essence of the process well. However, the response suffers significantly from poor paragraphing and a lack of clear segmentation, presenting most of the detailed steps in a single, massive run-on sentence. While the information is present and accurate, the lack of structured development prevents it from reaching a higher band. It meets the minimum word count requirement.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

Coherence and cohesion are weak in this response. The essay is essentially structured as one long paragraph with multiple clauses linked repetitively by coordinating conjunctions and transitional phrases like 'after that comes', 'in the next step', and 'and at last'. There is no effective paragraphing to separate the agricultural phase from the industrial processing phase. Punctuation is largely absent or misused, leading to massive run-on sentences that make the logical progression difficult to follow seamlessly, despite the inherent chronological sequence of the diagram.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The student demonstrates an adequate vocabulary to accomplish the basic task, utilizing process-related terms such as 'harvesting', 'crushing', 'limestone filter', 'evaporation', 'syrup', 'centrifuge', and 'crystals'. However, there are notable word choice and collocation inaccuracies, such as 'juice is need to purify', 'went into a constantly heating container', and 'sugar pour into a big compartment'. Spelling errors also occur, such as 'particels'. The lexical range is sufficient for the task but lacks precision and control.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

Grammatical control is weak, primarily characterized by heavy reliance on run-on sentences joined by comma splices or coordinating conjunctions without proper terminal punctuation. For instance, sentences like 'once it grows than comes the harvesting process which involves both the machinery and human effort as well, after that comes the crushing step in this phase sugar canes are put into a machine and juice of the sugar cane comes out' demonstrate severe run-on errors. There are also tense and voice inconsistencies, such as 'juice is need to purify' instead of 'needs to be purified'. Complex structures are attempted but are generally faulty.

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