Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

How sugar is produced from sugar cane

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Sugar cane use in our life we know how to ready in crops the farmer is make to soil and it provides fetillizer water and somethings and wait 3to5 months and sugar cane ready to harvesting the farmer come to factory and it was crushing and juice for purifying and sometime juice to evaporate and juice becomes syrup and sugar centrifuge separates crystals from syrup and crystal to drying and cooling and packs of bags and go for market to sales

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response responds to the task only minimally and fails to meet the minimum length requirement of 150 words, stopping at just 81 words. While the student attempts to outline the stages of the sugar cane manufacturing process, the information is presented in a very basic and disjointed manner. Important stages and comparisons are largely omitted or glossed over, leading to an underdeveloped overview of the diagram. To improve, the writer must expand the response significantly, ensuring all phases from growing to packaging and marketing are clearly described and contrasted where relevant.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The text lacks proper structure, organization, and paragraphing, reading instead as a single, long, run-on sentence. Information and ideas are not arranged coherently, making it difficult for the reader to follow the logical sequence of the manufacturing process. Cohesive devices are either missing or misused, relying on repetitive conjunctions like 'and' rather than appropriate transition words to link stages such as crushing, purifying, and evaporating. To reach a higher level, the student needs to group related ideas into distinct paragraphs and use a wider range of cohesive features to guide the reader smoothly through the stages.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive, frequently employing simple words like 'juice', 'sugar', and 'farmer'. There are noticeable errors in word form, spelling, and word choice, such as 'fetillizer', 'ready to harvesting', and 'sales', which strain the reader's understanding. The range of vocabulary is limited and minimally adequate for the task, with little attempt to use less common lexical items related to industrial processes. To improve, the writer should incorporate precise topic-specific vocabulary and ensure correct word forms and spelling throughout the response.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The grammatical range is very limited, consisting almost entirely of poorly structured, run-on clauses linked by coordinating conjunctions. Errors are extremely frequent, including missing articles, incorrect verb tenses and forms ('the farmer is make', 'juice for purifying'), and severe punctuation errors due to the total absence of full stops or commas. These frequent errors distort meaning and make the sentences difficult to parse. To achieve a higher band, the writer must demonstrate control over basic sentence boundaries, utilize a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and apply accurate tense and subject-verb agreement.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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