Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

How sugar is produced from sugar cane

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The diagram shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane and also shows how produced sugar from sugar cane.

Overall,it has few step to made sugar from sugar cane,from the begginnig of growing the harvest and untill the became crystal from syrup.

Firslty, started to growing the suger cane. it has taked approximalty twelve to eighteen months then after growing it has time to started harvesting there is two way to harvesting one is by machine and also throught the human.all did these process sugar cane ready for convert to juice foam.while,juice has change into limnestomne machine to till purifying the juice. following all process juice put on a container for heat that is take time till became into syrup.thus, after syrup converet into crystal foam time start to last process keep in container for drying and cooling.

Thers is seven procees to made a sugar from sugar cane.growing to follow all these process end of drying made sugar.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses the task partially by identifying the main stages of the sugar manufacturing process, from growing to drying and cooling. However, the information is presented in a somewhat repetitive and mechanical manner, with limited selection of key features. The overview is weak, consisting of vague statements rather than a clear summary of the overall process and its primary stages. Furthermore, some descriptions are brief or imprecise, such as mentioning the two harvesting methods or the limestone filter without fully integrating them into a smooth narrative sequence. To achieve a higher band, the response would need to present a clearer, well-developed overview and more thoroughly describe all key steps with appropriate supporting details from the diagram.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some basic organisation in the essay, with an introduction, a body section, and a concluding sentence, but the text lacks a clear overall progression. Paragraphing is poorly handled, with a very dense body paragraph that lumps multiple distinct steps together, alongside very brief sentences that disrupt the flow. Cohesive devices are repetitive and basic, often relying on awkward transitions like 'Firslty', 'while', and 'thus' rather than establishing clear logical relationships between sentences. Reference links between ideas are frequently unclear or mechanical, making the overall arrangement difficult to follow at times. Improved paragraphing and a wider, more accurate range of cohesive devices are necessary to guide the reader smoothly through the stages.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is limited and repetitive, with frequent misspellings and inaccurate word choices throughout the text. Words such as 'begginnig', 'approximalty', 'limnestomne', and 'converet' demonstrate persistent spelling errors that occasionally strain the reader. The range of vocabulary is barely adequate for the task, relying heavily on basic terms borrowed directly from the prompt or repetitive expressions like 'sugar cane' and 'process'. Attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as 'crystal foam' or 'purifying', are marred by incorrect word forms and awkward collocations. To improve, the student needs to expand their range of process-related terminology, enhance control over word formation, and ensure accurate spelling of common items.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response features a very limited range of sentence structures, relying heavily on simple sentences and faulty attempts at complex clauses. There are frequent grammatical errors, including missing auxiliary verbs ('it has taked'), incorrect verb tenses ('it has to started'), faulty clause structures ('all did these process sugar cane ready'), and missing articles. Punctuation is also problematic, with run-on sentences and incorrect comma usage detracting from readability. These frequent errors cause considerable difficulty for the reader. To reach a higher standard, the writer must work on basic sentence construction, improve control over verb tenses and passive voice structures commonly needed for process descriptions, and reduce the density of grammatical mistakes.

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