Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-04
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
How sugar is produced from sugar cane
Student answer (Band 4.0)
This diagram illustrate the information about manufacturing process for making
sugar cane
overall, it is clear that manufacturing process of sugar have six stage. Manufacturing start for harvesting and end with centrifuge.Other noticeable feature is that manufacturing of sugar is time taking process.
manufacturing process of sugar begin with harvesting the crop after crop is fully mature.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0
The response fails to meet the minimum length requirement of 150 words, stopping abruptly at only 57 words. Consequently, it only partially addresses the task. While the student attempts to provide a brief overview, stating that the process has six stages and starts with harvesting, the body of the response is extremely underdeveloped and omits the vast majority of the key steps shown in the diagram, such as crushing, purifying, evaporating, and centrifuging. To achieve a higher band, the writer must write a complete response of at least 150 words that systematically covers all stages and main features of the process.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
The text demonstrates a basic attempt to organise information with transitional phrases like 'overall' and 'manufacturing process of sugar begin with', but the overall progression is severely hindered by the extreme brevity of the text. Paragraphing is fragmented, with single-sentence lines that do not form cohesive blocks. Referencing and cohesive devices are rudimentary. To improve cohesion, the writer needs to group related stages into logical paragraphs and use a wider, more accurate range of linking words to connect the steps of the process smoothly.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, relying heavily on words directly lifted from the prompt such as 'manufacturing', 'process', 'sugar', and 'harvesting'. There are noticeable word-form and spelling inaccuracies, such as missing plural markers ('six stage' instead of 'six stages') and capitalization issues. The range is minimally adequate for a very short text, but it lacks the precision and flexibility needed to describe a technical process. To reach a higher level, the student should incorporate a broader range of less common vocabulary and precise process-related terminology.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The response features a very limited range of sentence structures, consisting mostly of simple sentences with frequent grammatical errors. There are missing auxiliary verbs and articles, such as 'This diagram illustrate' instead of 'This diagram illustrates' and 'manufacturing process' lacking a determiner. Punctuation is also neglected, as seen in the lack of capitalisation at the start of the second paragraph ('overall, it is clear...'). To improve in this area, the writer must practise forming grammatically complete sentences and ensure better control over subject-verb agreement and article usage.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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