Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

How sugar is produced from sugar cane

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The process diagram illustrates the procedure of sugar manufacturing from sugar cane.

Overall, it is clear that the process begin with growth of sugar canes and finshed at drying and cooling suagr. Although, the procedure consists of seven stages in which the raw sugar canes goes through from harvesting to crushing and then industrial process.

Intially the cultivated sugar canes could took approximately 12 to 18 months to reach at the stage where they able to harvest. Secondaly, the the raw sugar canes can harvested through machines or self based to organize the cutted plants from next process. Furthermore, those raw sugar canes that were harvested through machines and human work force are put in crushing machine that seprate the raw sugar canes and juice .

Moreover, this juice then goes through limestone filter that puryfying the juice and filter the remained raw material that were in juice . In addition, the filtered juice heated in evaporator that tranform the simple juice of sugar canes into syrup. Additionally, when the juice become syrup then undergo centrifuge procedure that that make the sugar crystals from syrup a part. At long last, the sugar process completed and keep it in drums until become dry and cool for usage.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You cover the main sequence from growing sugar cane through harvesting, crushing, purification, evaporation and centrifuging, and your overview identifies the beginning and end of the process. The 12–18-month growing period and the two harvesting methods are also reported accurately. However, some details are unclear or not fully supported: “keep it in drums” is not shown in the diagram, and the final stage is drying and cooling, rather than storing sugar until it reaches that state. The overview could also summarise the transformation more clearly, from cane to juice, syrup and sugar crystals. Developing this overall picture and keeping every detail tied closely to the diagram would make the account more complete and precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction and overview are followed by stages in process order, with separate paragraphs for the early and later steps. Sequencing expressions such as “Initially,” “Furthermore,” and “At long last” help the reader follow the stages. However, some linking is mechanical or repetitive, particularly the repeated use of “Moreover,” “In addition,” and “Additionally.” A few connections are also unclear: “those raw sugar canes that were harvested through machines and human work force” is cumbersome, and the final sentence introduces storage without a clear link to the diagram. Use fewer, more precise transitions and make each sentence’s subject explicit to improve cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant process vocabulary, including “limestone filter,” “evaporator,” “syrup,” and “centrifuge,” which helps communicate the stages. There is also some attempt to vary wording, for example “manufacturing” and “procedure.” However, spelling errors and imprecise or unnatural choices are noticeable: “finshed,” “suagr,” “seprate,” and “puryfying” reduce accuracy, while “self based” and “make the sugar crystals from syrup a part” do not express the intended meaning naturally. “Raw sugar canes” is also repeated where “harvested cane” or “sugar cane” would be clearer. Check spelling carefully and prioritise accurate process collocations over forced variation.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a relative clause in “the stage where they able to harvest” and a sequence of clauses describing later processing. However, errors in verb forms, agreement, articles and sentence construction are frequent enough to make some sentences awkward or difficult to follow. For example, “the process begin” needs subject–verb agreement, “could took” has an incorrect verb form, and “the filtered juice heated” is missing an auxiliary. The sentence beginning “Although” is also incomplete as written. Practise forming accurate passive constructions for process descriptions, such as “the juice is heated,” and check each sentence for a complete clause and consistent tense.

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