Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

How sugar is produced from sugar cane

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The diagram illustrate the manufacturing process for marking sugar from sugar cane.Because all we knows that it is a process for making sugar from sugar cane.In general,the growing process time taken about 12 to 18 months as shown in figure.

As for the process taken time like 12 to 18 months and then its gone to harvesting as shwon in figure and then cut down.Turning to into in crushing and its become in the form of sugar canes and its also time taken process. The comparsion between counties Brazil produce about 43.8 million tonnes and Brazil is the worlds largest sugar producer in the world right now.

After moving into purifying juice then fliter and then move into evaporator and juice become syrup and then into put on heat and then on centrifuge separates sugar crystals from syrup and in then its gone on the drying and cooling sugar this process taken around 18 to 20 months.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the general subject and include the growing period of 12–18 months, then mention several later stages, including purification, evaporation, centrifuging, and drying. However, the response only minimally reports the diagram’s key information: it does not clearly explain what happens at crushing or that the juice is filtered through limestone, and it gives no clear overview of the process from cane to sugar. The comparison about Brazil producing 43.8 million tonnes is not shown in the diagram and is irrelevant here; the stated total duration of 18–20 months is also unsupported. Focus on accurately describing the seven stages and the two harvesting methods, without adding outside claims.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to follow the process order, using phrases such as “then its gone to harvesting” and “After moving into purifying juice.” This gives the reader some sense of sequence. However, the response is largely one continuous paragraph, and the progression is disrupted by the unrelated Brazil comparison. Several links are unclear or repetitive, including “and then,” “then move into,” and “in then.” The opening repeats the task rather than establishing a concise overview. Organise the response into a short introduction and overview, followed by stages in sequence, and use clear connectors such as “Next,” “After this,” and “Finally” only where they clarify relationships.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant process vocabulary, including “harvesting,” “crushing,” “evaporator,” “syrup,” “centrifuge,” and “drying and cooling.” These terms show awareness of the diagram’s subject. However, the range is limited and several choices or spellings make the description difficult to follow: “marking sugar,” “fliter,” “comparsion,” and “counties.” Phrases such as “its become in the form of sugar canes” do not express the intended process clearly. Use precise verbs and collocations for each stage, and check spelling. For example, describe cane being crushed to extract juice, rather than saying it “become” sugar cane; reserve “sugar” for the final product.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to connect stages in longer sentences, but sentence structures are very limited and errors are frequent enough to obscure relationships. The opening has subject–verb disagreement in “The diagram illustrate,” while “all we knows” and “its become” show problems with agreement and verb forms. Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also unreliable, as in “sugar cane.Because” and “In general,the.” Pronouns such as “its” are repeatedly used where a clear subject is needed, and the final sentence combines several stages without a controlled structure. Practise writing short, complete sentences in the present simple, for example: “The cane is crushed to extract juice. The juice is then purified.”

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