Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

How sugar is produced from sugar cane

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The given process diagram illustrate the mass manufecturing of produce the sugar from sugar cane.The process is the joint venture of humans and machines which work together for singal final product.Overall it can be seen that the mass manufecturing of sugar is carried out by following more than 7 distincitive parts.Additionally,The first part is growing the sugar cane is long period of 12 month to 18 months and ends of the shipping the final product.Furthermore,All steps is very important and are conneted to each other.Talking about the initial steps,The firt is growing sugar cane, Which followed by the second step is harvesting,Then comes to crushing,Purifying juice,evaportator,SEPRATE sugar crystals of syurup,And drying and cooling,And then comes to extractions.Furthermore,All these process complete in almost half of the total process.Pouring of the some light on finalizing steps,These final step are very critical getting the finished product.Furthermore,Final product is obtained by clarifying,filtering followe by pakaging and shipping.Hence,Afinal product is obtained by following diffrent phases of the mass manufecturing off sugar.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify the process as sugar production and mention the growing period and several stages, including harvesting, crushing, purification, evaporation, separation, and drying. However, the task is only partially addressed because the account does not accurately or clearly describe the full sequence and key transformations. For example, “ends of the shipping the final product” and the later reference to “packaging and shipping” are not shown in the diagram, while “clarifying” and “extractions” are also unsupported. The overview is vague: saying the process has “more than 7” parts does not clearly summarise its main features. To strengthen the response, give a concise overview of the seven stages and explain how cane becomes juice, then syrup, and finally sugar crystals.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is an attempt to organise the response with an opening, an overview, and phrases such as “Talking about the initial steps” and “Pouring of the some light on finalizing steps.” The stages are also listed in roughly the correct order at one point. However, progression is difficult to follow because the response moves from the process sequence to unsupported shipping and packaging details, then returns to the stages. Linking words such as “Furthermore” are repeated without showing a clear relationship between ideas, and the long strings of stages joined by commas and “And” weaken cohesion. Use separate paragraphs for the overview and the ordered process, and connect each stage directly to the next.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response attempts some task-related vocabulary, including “harvesting,” “crushing,” “evaporator,” and “sugar crystals,” which helps identify parts of the process. However, the range is limited and many spelling or word-choice errors make the description difficult to understand, such as “manufecturing,” “distincitive,” “evaportator,” “syurup,” and “extractions.” Some phrases are also unnatural or imprecise, including “joint venture of humans and machines” and “Pouring of the some light.” Aim for accurate process vocabulary and straightforward collocations rather than ornate expressions. For instance, describe the cane as being “crushed to extract juice” and the juice as being “heated to form syrup.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to use longer sentences and sequencing structures, but control is inconsistent, and errors frequently make the meaning harder to follow. The opening has subject–verb and infinitive problems: “The given process diagram illustrate the mass manufecturing of produce the sugar.” Other examples include “All steps is very important,” “the first is growing sugar cane, Which followed,” and “These final step are very critical getting the finished product.” Sentence boundaries and capitalization are also unreliable, with several clauses joined by commas or “And.” Practise forming clear simple sentences first, then add accurate passive structures such as “The juice is purified” and “The syrup is separated from the crystals.”

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