Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

How sugar is produced from sugar cane

Student answer (Band 4.5)

first of all sugar can how to grow. sugar can sowing in earth harwasting and sowing cuts of sugar can in earth and 6 month ago the sugar can grow. this time crop the sugar can the go and fast production we use some camicals use to save any anisiptis after this time crop sugar can carefully. it is mainn time hhow to carefully labour cut this sugar can and after satal to truck and go to factory in this machine and machine cruching sugar cans and produce juice after that purifying juice in limestone filtter and evaporate juice becomes syrup itis natural but it is mix camicale and than heat this syrup and centrifuge and than sepaerates crystals from syrup after in this procyger drying and cooling and produce

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify several central stages, including crushing the cane, purifying the juice, heating it into syrup, separating crystals, and drying and cooling. However, the response only minimally summarises the diagram: it gives no clear overview of the complete process and adds unsupported details about sowing, chemicals, pesticides, and transporting cane by truck. It also says the cane grows for six months, whereas the diagram specifies 12–18 months. The final product is left unfinished (“produce”), so the endpoint is unclear. The response is 20 words below the required minimum, which further limits the coverage. To improve, report the seven stages in order, include the stated growing period, and avoid details not shown.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to follow the process sequence, moving from growing and harvesting to crushing, purification, evaporation, centrifuging, and drying. Words such as “after that” and “than” also show an effort to connect stages. However, the response is presented as one long, poorly punctuated sequence, so the relationships between ideas are difficult to follow. Some details interrupt the process account, and the ending is incomplete. Organise the response into a short introduction, an overview, and a clearly ordered description of the stages. Use accurate sequencing expressions and full stops to separate steps; this would make the progression easier to understand.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response includes some relevant process vocabulary, such as “crushing,” “juice,” “limestone filter,” “syrup,” “centrifuge,” and “crystals.” These terms show an attempt to describe the diagram rather than relying entirely on general language. However, the vocabulary is basic and often inaccurate or difficult to recognise, as in “sugar can,” “harwasting,” “camicals,” “filtter,” and “sepaerates.” Some choices also misrepresent the process, such as “sowing” and “anisiptis.” Aim for accurate spelling and standard process terms, and avoid adding technical details that are not in the diagram. More precise wording would help communicate each stage clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0

The response attempts to connect several stages in longer sentences, but grammatical control is very limited and errors frequently make the meaning difficult to follow. For example, “sugar can how to grow” does not form a clear sentence, while “after that purifying juice in limestone filtter” lacks a subject and a finite verb. Verb forms and tense are also inconsistent in phrases such as “the sugar can grow” and “produce juice.” Punctuation is largely absent, creating a run-on sequence. Practise writing complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, using the present simple for process descriptions—for example, “The cane is crushed to extract the juice”—and separate each stage with appropriate punctuation.

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