Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

How sugar is produced from sugar cane

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The diagram below illustrate the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Overall, the diagram consists of seven main stages .The first things to do is growing sugar canes and after the several process it is convet into sugar.

First of all, Sugar cane takes one year to growing

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

You identify the subject as sugar production and give a basic overview that there are seven stages, which is relevant to the diagram. However, the response stops after the opening of the process and does not describe the harvesting methods, crushing, purification, evaporation, centrifuging, or drying and cooling. The only specific detail is that the cane takes “one year” to grow, whereas the diagram gives 12–18 months. The response is also far below the required 150 words: 41 words were counted, with 9 words copied from the prompt excluded. To improve, report the full sequence and key details, including the two harvesting methods and how juice becomes syrup before sugar crystals are separated and dried.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: an opening sentence is followed by an overview beginning “Overall,” and then a process detail introduced by “First of all.” These markers show an intended progression from general information to a stage in the process. However, the response ends before that progression can be developed, and the stages are not connected into a complete sequence. The overview’s phrase “after the several process” does not clearly explain what follows, while the final sentence is unfinished in meaning. Use separate paragraphs for the overview and the process description, then link each stage with clear sequencing language such as “Next,” “After this,” and “Finally.”

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some relevant process vocabulary, including “manufacturing process,” “stages,” “growing,” and “sugar cane,” so the topic is recognisable. However, the range is very limited because only the opening stage is described; important terms from the diagram, such as “crushing,” “filtering,” “evaporating,” and “centrifuge,” are absent. There are also inaccurate forms and spelling, including “convet” and “sugar canes,” which reduce precision. Build a wider set of accurate process verbs and nouns, and use them to describe what happens to the material at each step. For example, distinguish the cane from the juice, syrup, and sugar crystals.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts a few sentence forms, including a present-simple opening and an overview, but control is uneven. In “The diagram below illustrate,” the singular subject requires “illustrates.” “The first things to do is” has faulty agreement and phrasing, while “takes one year to growing” uses an incorrect verb pattern; write “takes 12–18 months to grow.” The sentence “after the several process it is convet into sugar” also needs clearer structure and accurate agreement, for example, “after several processes, it is converted into sugar.” The full stop in “stages .The” is incorrectly spaced. Practise accurate present-simple descriptions and passive forms, which are especially useful for explaining a manufacturing process.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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