Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-10

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

How sugar is produced from sugar cane

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The diagram below illustrates the creating process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Overall,in this diagram eplains how to develop sugar from sugar can with step by step and also seem totally process in this diagram.

Firtsly, growing the sugar canes from fields it takes duration 12 to 18 month after growing net step process harvesting sugar can with harvesting machine. Then,after cutting sugar cane take away the crushing machine in the crushing machine makes the juice of sugarcane.Morever, juice went on the limestone filter for the purifying of the juice.

Following the diagram process, in evaporter give heats to juice in this step and convert in syrup.After that, in the second last step centrifuge splits the sugar crystals from syrup after the centrifuge process .Finally, in the final process syrup store in the drum keep syrup went to dry and provides cooling for the making the final shape the sugar after the process the sugar is ready.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the process as a sequence and include several key stages, including growing for 12–18 months, crushing, purification, evaporation and centrifuging. The response therefore gives a relevant account of how sugar is produced. However, the overview is unclear and does not summarise the main transformation from sugar cane to finished sugar. Some details are inaccurate or incomplete: the diagram shows two harvesting methods, mechanical and manual, but you mention only a machine; after centrifuging, sugar crystals are separated from syrup, then dried and cooled, whereas your final sentence says syrup is stored in a drum and suggests it is the syrup that is dried. Clarify the overview and report the final stages precisely to make the coverage more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The stages are generally presented in the correct order, and sequencing expressions such as “Firstly,” “Following the diagram process,” “After that” and “Finally” help the reader follow the process. This gives the response a coherent overall arrangement. However, the writing is presented as one block, so the introduction, overview and process details are not clearly distinguished. Some links are mechanical or awkward, and the reference in “in the final process syrup store in the drum” is difficult to follow. Use separate paragraphs for the overview and the detailed stages, and connect steps with clear, varied transitions. Ensure each sentence makes the relationship between the material and the next stage explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant process vocabulary, including “limestone filter,” “evaporator,” “centrifuge,” “sugar crystals” and “syrup,” which helps communicate the subject. However, the range is limited and several word choices or forms are inaccurate, sometimes making the meaning difficult to interpret. Examples include “creating process,” “develop sugar,” “give heats,” and “final shape the sugar.” Spelling errors such as “Firtsly,” “Morever” and “evaporter” also reduce precision. Aim for standard process collocations and accurate forms—for example, say that cane is “crushed to extract juice” and that the crystals are “dried and cooled.” This would make the description clearer and more appropriately formal.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to link stages in longer sentences, and the sequence is mostly understandable, but control of sentence structure and verb forms is inconsistent. For example, “growing the sugar canes from fields it takes duration 12 to 18 month” lacks a clear grammatical structure, while “in the crushing machine makes the juice” has no correctly formed subject. Verb forms and agreement are also problematic in “syrup store” and “evaporter give heats.” Punctuation and spacing are uneven, as in “Overall,in” and “After that, in the second last step centrifuge splits.” Use complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and check articles, plurals and tense. Shorter, accurately formed sentences would improve readability before you attempt more complex structures.

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