Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-12
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
How sugar is produced from sugar cane
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The given diagram illustrate the process of making sugar from sugar cane.
To commence with, in the intial step sugar canes are ready for cultivation. This sugar canes takes the time of 12-18 months to grow. After this the process id divided into the two parts . The harvesting can done by hands also and by harverters too. In the next step the sugar canes are moved for crusing in the cruser machine and juice came out from the sugar canes.
Moving further, in the forth step, the juice moved for purifying in the limestone filter. After purifying, in fifth step the juice moved for evaporation and keeped on heat from where the juice becomes syrup. In next step it moved for further process in centrifuge where the sugar crystals gets separated from syrup. In the final step the sugar stored in big container where it gets dry and cool.
Overall, this process contains total seven steps.The process starts from the cultivation of sugar canes and ended when sugar gets ready from sugar canes moving for many steps
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
You cover the main sequence and include several accurate details: the cane grows for 12–18 months, harvesting can be manual or mechanical, and the juice is filtered, heated into syrup, centrifuged, then dried and cooled. This gives the reader a relevant account of the process. However, the overview is placed at the end and is vague: “sugar gets ready … moving for many steps” does not clearly summarise the transformation from cane to finished sugar. Some stages are also described imprecisely, such as saying the sugar is “stored in big container” rather than explaining that it is dried and cooled in the final stage. A clearer overview and more precise reporting of each stage would make the key features more fully developed.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The response has a coherent overall arrangement: it follows the process from growing through to the final stage, and the paragraph break separates the early and later stages. Sequencing phrases such as “After this,” “Moving further,” and “In the final step” help the reader follow the order. This already provides a clear progression, but some linking is mechanical or repetitive, particularly the repeated use of “step” and “process.” The overview comes after the detailed account, so the organisation could be more effective if it opened with a concise summary before describing the stages. Improve cohesion by varying transitions and using clear references to the material at each stage, rather than repeatedly saying “it moved.”
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use relevant process vocabulary, including “cultivation,” “harvesting,” “limestone filter,” “evaporation,” and “centrifuge,” which helps communicate the stages. However, the range and control are limited by repeated general words such as “step,” “process,” and “moved,” as well as inaccurate or awkward choices: “ready for cultivation” does not describe the growing stage, and “sugar stored in big container” is not a precise description of drying and cooling. Spelling errors such as “intial,” “crusing,” and “cruser” are noticeable and reduce accuracy. Aim for precise process verbs and collocations, for example “is fed into the crusher” and “the crystals are separated from the remaining syrup.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You attempt both simple and longer sentences, and the sequence is generally understandable. However, errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction occur throughout. For example, “The given diagram illustrate” needs subject–verb agreement, while “This sugar canes takes” has incorrect agreement and number. Passive forms are often faulty in “The harvesting can done” and “the juice moved for purifying”; use forms such as “can be harvested” and “the juice is purified.” The final sentence also has an unclear structure and tense shift: “starts … and ended.” These errors sometimes make the relationships between stages less clear. Practise accurate passive constructions, which are especially useful for describing manufacturing processes, alongside varied but controlled sentence patterns.
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