Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-12
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
How sugar is produced from sugar cane
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The diagram outline the stages the manufacturing process for making sugar from cane. Overall, the sugar started work in seven stages. firstly, the process began in fields to produced sugar canes. after that, loading in trucks and finally, reach in factory people buy sugar for home. the process growing in sugar canes ( 12 to 18 months) .once mature they are harvested, typically by a human operating a machine after that loading in trucks.However the crushing process start to make juice. furthermore, juice is purified in machine for limestone filters.
the news process began for evaporator. The cane juice instill in drum and the drum placed on the fire for give heat.juice vhanging in syrup.In addition,next process centrifuge,( separates sugar crystals form sugar). after that sugar filled in drummers for drying and cooling, in conclusion suger send in market to retails and factory. individuals buy sugar for home to use take a tea and water.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
You identify the process as involving seven stages and include several accurate details, such as the 12–18-month growing period, crushing the cane to obtain juice, purification with limestone, evaporation into syrup, and centrifuging. However, the account only partially covers the diagram: it misstates harvesting as a person operating a machine, although the diagram shows mechanical and manual methods as alternatives, and it adds unsupported steps about loading trucks, retail sales, and people buying sugar. The overview also says the process ends with sugar reaching homes, rather than clearly summarising the diagram’s final drying and cooling stage. To strengthen the response, report only the stages shown and give a concise overview of the transformation from cane to sugar crystals.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
There is some organisation: the response begins with an introduction and overview, then attempts to describe the stages in sequence. Time and sequence markers such as “after that,” “furthermore,” and “in conclusion” help signal movement through the process. However, progression is not consistently clear because the account jumps from the factory process to trucks, markets, and household use, which are not shown. Several transitions are awkward or repetitive, and paragraphing does not clearly separate the overview from the detailed stages. Organise the response into a clear overview followed by a chronological description, using accurate links such as “next,” “subsequently,” and “finally” only where they clarify the sequence.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use some relevant process vocabulary, including “harvested,” “crushing,” “purified,” “evaporator,” “syrup,” and “centrifuge,” which helps communicate the main subject. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, sometimes making the meaning difficult to follow: “started work in seven stages,” “juice is purified in machine for limestone filters,” and “sugar filled in drummers” are examples. Spelling errors such as “suger,” “vhanging,” and “form” also reduce clarity. Aim for precise process language and check spelling; for example, describe juice as “passed through a limestone filter” and sugar as “dried and cooled.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5
The response attempts both simple and longer sentences, and some relationships between stages are understandable. However, the range is limited, and attempts to combine ideas often contain frequent errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries. For example, “The diagram outline” needs subject–verb agreement, while “the process began in fields to produced sugar canes” has an incorrect verb pattern. In “juice vhanging in syrup,” the sentence lacks a correctly formed verb, and punctuation and capitalisation are inconsistent after full stops. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then join them with conjunctions. Check that each sentence has a clear subject and finite verb, and use consistent present simple forms to describe the process.
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