Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-13

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

How sugar is produced from sugar cane

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Sugar is very important in daily life. Peopel eat sugar by chocalate and cake or drink sugar . But how make sugar? it is exected ideal . we are finding imofmation now . How sugar is produced from sugar cane . First the sugar canes are growing from 12 to 18 moth . Farmer planed sugar cane on summer and make soft soil ,they water it 2 day on week . second when its tall and big ,famers will harvest by since . After that the suagar cane will crush result juice . continue the juice by purifying juice and limestone filter . And after poeple is heating juice beacomes syrup by method evaporator . inadition they make separates sugar crytals from syrup is centrifuge . Finanlly is drying and cooling sugar . make sugar is very hard with farmer and lose many time but sugar delicious in the world.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the main stages in the correct general order, including growing, harvesting, crushing, purification, evaporation, centrifuging, and drying and cooling. You also include the stated growing period. However, the response does not provide a clear overview of the process as a whole, and several details are inaccurate or invented: the diagram does not say that farmers plant in summer, prepare soft soil, or water the cane twice a week. The harvesting methods are also not described accurately; the diagram shows mechanical and manual harvesting. The final comment about sugar being difficult to make and delicious is not a relevant process feature. Focus on the information shown and summarise the key transformations, especially juice becoming syrup and crystals being separated from syrup.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response follows the process in broadly the right sequence, and words such as “First,” “second,” “After that,” and “Finally” help the reader recognise the stages. However, the ideas are crowded into one paragraph and the progression is weakened by unclear or incomplete links, such as “continue the juice by purifying juice” and “in addition they make separates sugar crystals.” The opening comments about eating sugar and the closing opinion interrupt the description rather than supporting its organisation. Group the stages into a short introduction and logically ordered process paragraphs, and use clear links to show how each material changes and moves to the next stage.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some task-related vocabulary, including “harvest,” “juice,” “limestone filter,” “evaporator,” “syrup,” and “centrifuge,” which helps convey the basic process. However, the range is limited and many spelling and word-choice errors make parts difficult to understand, for example “chocalate,” “moth,” “suagar,” and “crytals.” Several phrases are not natural or precise, including “harvest by since” and “make separates sugar crytals.” Use accurate process verbs and collocations, such as “the cane is harvested,” “the juice is filtered,” and “crystals are separated from the syrup.” Avoid unrelated everyday vocabulary and opinions so that the language remains focused on describing the diagram.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to describe a sequence using simple clauses and some linking expressions, but grammatical control is weak and errors frequently obscure meaning. Examples include “how make sugar?”, “the sugar canes are growing,” and “After poeple is heating juice beacomes syrup,” where question formation, verb forms, and clause structure are faulty. There is little accurate use of passive forms, which are particularly useful for describing a manufacturing process. Practise clear present-simple passive sentences, such as “The cane is crushed” and “The juice is heated until it becomes syrup.” Check subject–verb agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries, and build each stage as a complete sentence before adding more complex links.

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