Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

How sugar is produced from sugar cane

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from shugar can

overall, it is clear that 1 to 7 steps

firstly,sugarcan growing then cut and harvesting After the harvesting crushing out juice

secondly, The purifying juice bye the limestone filter then it is heat up juice become syrup

thirdone is juice separates crystals from syrup

The last part of the sugarcan is sugar drying and colling total sugarcan is 12 to 18 months wait for the sugarcan then cutting start these process 7 steps

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the process as having seven stages and include the growing period of 12–18 months, both important features. You also mention harvesting, crushing, limestone filtration, heating, separation, and drying, so the response is relevant to the diagram. However, the account is very brief and several stages are only named rather than clearly explained; for example, it does not say that crushing extracts juice or that the centrifuge separates sugar crystals from syrup. The overview, “it is clear that 1 to 7 steps,” is too vague to summarise the process as a whole. The response is 75 words below the 150-word minimum, with 11 copied prompt words excluded from the count. Develop each stage accurately and provide a clearer overview.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is a basic sense of sequence: “firstly,” “secondly,” “thirdone,” and “The last part” guide the reader through the process, and the stages are generally presented in the correct order. This gives the response some organisation. However, the progression is not consistently clear because ideas run together without sentence boundaries, as in “firstly,sugarcan growing then cut and harvesting After the harvesting crushing out juice.” The connectors are also mechanical and sometimes awkwardly placed. Group the stages into clear sentences or paragraphs, use transitions such as “Next” and “Finally” accurately, and make the links between each input and output explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use several relevant process terms, including “limestone filter,” “syrup,” “crystals,” and “drying,” which show some task-specific vocabulary. However, the range is limited and several spelling or word-choice errors make parts difficult to understand, such as “shugar can,” “sugarcan,” “colling,” and “bye the limestone filter.” Some expressions are also imprecise: “cut and harvesting” does not clearly describe the two harvesting methods, and “thirdone” is not a natural stage label. Aim for accurate forms such as “sugar cane,” “cooling,” and “filtered through limestone,” and use precise verbs like “extract,” “purify,” and “separate” to describe the process.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to show sequence and process, but grammatical control is weak and the sentence structures are very limited. Many clauses lack a clear subject or verb, for example, “firstly,sugarcan growing then cut and harvesting” and “thirdone is juice separates crystals from syrup.” Verb forms and sentence boundaries are also problematic in “then it is heat up juice become syrup,” which obscures how the juice changes. Capitalisation and punctuation are inconsistent, with several ideas joined without full stops. Practise writing complete sentences with a subject and a correctly formed verb, such as “The juice is heated until it becomes syrup.” Then check tense, articles, and punctuation in each sentence.

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