Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-21

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

How sugar is produced from sugar cane

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Procedure to make a sugar:

Growing

Harvesting

Crushing

Purifying Juice

Evaporator

Centrifuge

Drying and cooling

In this topic we explain how we can make sugar from the sugar cane the first step is we grow the gain in the soil at the appropriate time after the growing of the sugar cane we need to harvest thes sugar canes after the harvest of these sugar canes its very important for us to collect these sugar canes and then with the help of crushing machine we crush these sugar canes and after the crushing of these canes you see that they give us a sweet juice whichwe use for our drinking and for serving this sugarcane juice to our friends.

After the bringning of the juice we purify the juice by using the limestone filter and this limestone filter removes all the germs and waste particle. then the next step is that we use the evaporator and we use this evaporator to make our those juice which we obtained form the sugar canes we evaporate this juice as long as untilk it becomes the syrup.

Then we centrifuge we do this because we need to separate sugar crystals from syrup.And then in the last step we dry our sugar and cool them in a very appropriate and very suitable place.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the main stages in the correct order, from growing through drying and cooling, and you accurately mention the limestone filter, evaporation into syrup, and separation of sugar crystals. However, the response only partially fulfils the task because it reads mainly as a set of instructions and personal commentary rather than a concise, objective summary of the diagram. Important details are omitted, including the 12–18-month growing period and the two harvesting methods. The claim that the filter removes “all the germs” and waste is not shown in the visual, while the comments about drinking and serving the juice are irrelevant. Add a clear overview of the process and report only information supported by the diagram.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The stages are generally presented in the diagram’s sequence, and paragraph breaks help separate the later parts of the process. Linking expressions such as “after,” “then,” and “in the last step” also make the order understandable. However, the opening list repeats the stages without explaining their relationship, and the main paragraphs rely heavily on repeated “and then” sequencing. Some connections are unclear, as in “After the bringning of the juice,” and the long first paragraph combines several stages with personal comments. Organise the response into a brief overview followed by logically grouped stages, and use clear references such as “the resulting juice” to reduce repetition.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use several relevant process terms, including “crushing machine,” “limestone filter,” “evaporator,” “syrup,” and “sugar crystals,” so the reader can recognise the main production stages. However, vocabulary is repetitive and sometimes informal or imprecise for an academic process description. Phrases such as “we can make,” “for serving … to our friends,” and “very appropriate and very suitable place” do not add useful information. There are also noticeable spelling and word-form errors, including “thes,” “bringning,” and “form,” which reduce accuracy. Aim for concise, neutral process vocabulary and avoid unsupported descriptions; this will make the account clearer and more appropriate to the task.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts to connect several stages in longer sentences, and the basic sequence can usually be followed. However, the range of sentence structures is limited, and attempts at complex sentences are often faulty. For example, “the first step is we grow” needs a clearer construction, while “we evaporate this juice as long as untilk it becomes the syrup” contains an incorrect and redundant time clause. Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also inconsistent: the first paragraph runs on, and “syrup.And” lacks a space after the full stop. Practise forming accurate passive or impersonal process sentences, such as “The juice is heated until it becomes syrup,” and check articles, verb forms, and punctuation.

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