Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

How sugar is produced from sugar cane

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The given diagram illustrate the process of making sugar from sugar cane.This process joint venture of humans and machines works together for a singal final product.Overall,it can be seen that the mass manufecturing process carried out by following distincitive parts.Additionally,the process start from growing and the ends of shipping at the final product.Furthermore,all the steps is very important connected with each other.Talking about the initial steps,the first step growing the sugar cane for 12 to 18 months and then followed by the second steps harvesting,crushing the sugar canes make the juice then purifying limestone filter ,evaporator juice becomes syrup then centrifuge ,drying and cooling and then extraction.All these processes complete half of the total procedure.Pouring the some light on finalizing steps,these final step are very critical get the finished product.These process of clarifying,filtering,centrifuge followed by the packging and shipping.Hence,the finished product is obtained by the following different phases of the mass manufecturing process of sugar.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify the general subject and mention several genuine stages, including growing the cane for 12–18 months, harvesting, crushing, purification, evaporation, centrifuging, and drying. However, the account only partially describes the process: the stages are compressed into a list, so key transformations and the sequence are not clearly explained. The overview is also inaccurate when it says the process ends with “shipping,” since the diagram ends with drying and cooling to produce sugar; packaging and shipping are not shown. The claim that the stages “complete half” the procedure is unsupported, and “extraction” is not identified as a separate final stage. To strengthen the response, give a clear overview of the start and end points, then accurately explain how juice becomes syrup and sugar crystals before drying and cooling.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is an attempt to organise the response with an opening, an overview, and phrases such as “Talking about the initial steps” and “Pouring the some light on finalizing steps.” The stages are broadly presented in sequence, which gives the reader a basic sense of the process. However, progression is not clear throughout: the first group of stages is crowded into one long sentence, and the later paragraph repeats earlier stages rather than developing the remaining steps. Connectors such as “Additionally,” “Furthermore,” and “Hence” are used mechanically and do not always show a meaningful relationship between ideas. Separate the process into clear stages or paragraphs, and use simple sequencing language—“first,” “next,” and “finally”—to guide the reader without repetition.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant process vocabulary, including “harvesting,” “crushing,” “limestone filter,” “evaporator,” and “centrifuge,” which helps identify the diagram’s main equipment and actions. There is also an attempt to use more formal expressions, such as “mass manufacturing process.” However, several word choices and spelling errors reduce precision: “joint venture” does not describe the cooperation of people and machines here, “singal” and “manufecturing” are misspelled, and “extraction” and “shipping” introduce stages not shown. Phrases such as “pouring the some light” are also unnatural. Aim for accurate process collocations and use the diagram’s labels directly, for example, “the juice is purified” and “the crystals are dried and cooled.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts to combine ideas using clauses and sequencing expressions, and the reader can generally recognise the intended stages. However, the range of sentence structures is limited, and several sentences contain frequent grammatical errors that make relationships between stages difficult to follow. For example, “The given diagram illustrate” has subject–verb disagreement, while “the process start” and “all the steps is” also use incorrect agreement. The opening sentence lacks a space after the full stop, and punctuation is often missing after commas, creating run-on sequences. The phrase “the first step growing” also needs a grammatical construction such as “the first step is growing.” Build shorter, complete sentences first, checking verb agreement, articles, and punctuation before attempting longer linked sentences.

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