Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

How sugar is produced from sugar cane

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The given diagram illustrate the process of mass manufecturing of sugar.This process is a joint venture of humans and machines which works together of the final product.Overall,it can be seen that the mass manufecturing process is carried out the different dincitive parts.Furthermore,According to the diagram the first step is growing sugar cane and the ends of shipping at the final product.All the steps is very important and connected with each other.Talking about some initial steps,the first step is growing sugar canes for 12 to 18 months and then folowed by the second step harvesting,crushing the sugar canes,purifying juice lime stone filter,juice becomes syrup,certrifuge seprates sugar crystals from syrup drying and cooling then extraction.All these processes half of the complete procedure.Pouring the some lights on finalizing steps,the final step is very critical to get the finishing product. Furthermore,the final product is obtained by the sugar , Hence , obtained by different phases the mass manufecturing of sugar .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify the process as sugar production and include several relevant stages, including growing the cane for 12–18 months, harvesting, crushing, purifying, evaporation, centrifuging, and drying. However, the account is only partial and the overview is unclear: “the mass manufacturing process is carried out the different distinctive parts” does not summarise the main pattern of the process. Some stages are compressed into a confusing list, and “then extraction” is not shown as a separate stage in the diagram. The harvesting methods and the final separation of sugar crystals from syrup are also not clearly explained. To strengthen the response, give a concise overview of the full sequence and describe each key transformation accurately, from cane to juice, syrup, crystals, and finished sugar.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is an attempt to organise the response with an opening, an overview, and phrases such as “Talking about some initial steps” and “Pouring the some lights on finalizing steps.” The stages are broadly presented in sequence, which gives the reader some sense of progression. However, the paragraphing and linking do not create a clear overall structure, and the long sentence listing stages makes the process difficult to follow. Connectors such as “Furthermore” are repeated without adding a clear relationship, while “All these processes half of the complete procedure” interrupts the progression. Use separate paragraphs for the overview and stage descriptions, and link each stage explicitly to the next with accurate sequencing language.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses some task-related vocabulary, including “harvesting,” “crushing,” “purifying,” “syrup,” “centrifuge,” and “sugar crystals,” so the reader can recognise the general subject. However, the range is limited and several inaccurate or misspelled expressions make meaning harder to understand, such as “manufecturing,” “dincitive,” “certrifuge,” and “seprates.” Phrases including “joint venture of humans and machines” and “Pouring the some lights” are not natural in this context. Aim for precise process vocabulary and standard collocations, for example, “the process involves both manual and mechanical harvesting” and “the juice is purified through a limestone filter.” Proofreading spelling would also improve clarity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to use longer sentences and sequencing clauses, but control is inconsistent, and frequent errors sometimes make the relationships between ideas unclear. For example, “The given diagram illustrate” has a subject–verb agreement error, while “All the steps is very important” also has incorrect agreement. The sentence beginning “the first step is growing sugar canes” then runs through many stages without clear grammatical links or punctuation. Articles and sentence boundaries are also unreliable, as in “the final product is obtained by the sugar.” Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with controlled clauses such as “After the cane is crushed, the juice is purified.” Check agreement, articles, and punctuation when editing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.