Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-24

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

How sugar is produced from sugar cane

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The diagram clearly illustrates the process for making suger from sugercane.

Overall it go though 7 steps starting from growing and to end at dying and cooling suger .

The growing season of suger take

12-18 after that farmer stary harvesting and then being crushing mechanically after that i go through limestone filet for being purifying juice and heat create evaporate it to become syrup

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the process as sugar production and give a basic overview that it has seven steps, beginning with growing and ending with drying and cooling. You also include the stated growing period and mention harvesting, crushing, purification and evaporation. However, the report is only a minimal account of the diagram: it stops before describing the centrifuge, the separation of sugar crystals from syrup, and the final drying and cooling stage. It also omits useful details such as the two harvesting methods and the limestone filter. The response is 65 words, below the required 150, which leaves the main stages and overview substantially underdeveloped. Describe the full sequence and explain what happens at each key stage.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response follows the early stages in roughly the correct order, and the opening overview gives the reader a basic sense of the process. However, most information is compressed into one long sentence linked repeatedly by “and then” and “after that,” so the relationships between stages are not clearly signposted. The final sentence also ends abruptly after evaporation, with no concluding account of the remaining stages. Use separate paragraphs for the overview and process details, then organise the stages into clear sentences with precise links such as “Following this” and “The resulting syrup is then…” This would create a more coherent progression rather than a list-like sequence.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant process vocabulary, including “growing,” “harvesting,” “crushing,” “limestone,” “purifying,” “evaporate” and “syrup,” so the topic is generally recognisable. However, the range is limited and several spelling or word-choice errors make the description less clear, including “suger,” “sugercane,” “stary,” and “filet.” Some phrases are also imprecise: “heat create evaporate it” does not clearly express that heat causes the juice to evaporate and become syrup. Use accurate process terms consistently, and choose verbs that describe each transformation precisely. The diagram offers useful vocabulary such as “centrifuge,” “separate,” “crystals,” and “drying,” which could extend the report.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to connect several stages in longer sentences, but grammatical control is weak and the sentence structures are very limited. For example, “Overall it go though 7 steps” has an incorrect verb form, while “The growing season of suger take 12-18” has subject–verb agreement problems and an incomplete time expression. In “heat create evaporate it to become syrup,” the sequence of verbs and pronouns makes the relationship between the heat, juice and syrup difficult to follow. There is also inconsistent sentence punctuation and spacing. Build a reliable base with complete simple sentences, then add a few accurate clauses to explain how one stage leads to the next.

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