Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-25

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

How sugar is produced from sugar cane

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The digram shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane . The sugar is produced from sugar canes first step growing in (12-18 months as well as the next step harvesting . The next process sugar cane crushing they realesd the juice and purifying juice in limestone filter . the next part to the evaporator (juice becomes syrup) in heat . the proceger is very difficult from sugar is produced from sugar cane . The next to the centrifuge(separates sugar crystals from syrup) they are the six steps moreover to the next part the part to the seven and proceger in drying and cooling from the sugar . The total is the seven parts from all the proceger . They are very difficult proceger from sugar is produced the sugar cane . They are very hard work proceger from making sugar from sugar cane . They are done from the product to the market.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the subject and mention several stages, including growing, harvesting, crushing, purification, evaporation, centrifuging, and drying and cooling. However, the account is incomplete and sometimes unclear: it does not explain that crushing extracts juice, that heating turns the juice into syrup, or that the centrifuge separates sugar crystals from syrup. The overview is also weak; saying the process is “very difficult” does not describe its main features, and the claim that the product goes “to the market” is not shown in the diagram. The response is 146 words, below the 150-word minimum; 10 words copied from the prompt were excluded from the count. Add a concise overview and accurately explain the key transformations.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The stages are generally presented in process order, and words such as “first,” “next,” and “moreover” show an attempt to guide the reader. This gives the response some basic organisation. However, the progression is difficult to follow because many stages are joined in long, unclear strings, for example, “The next process sugar cane crushing they realesd the juice and purifying juice in limestone filter.” Repeated statements that the process is “very difficult” or “very hard work” interrupt the sequence rather than develop it. Use separate sentences for each group of stages, and connect them with precise transitions such as “After the juice is filtered” and “Finally.” A clear overview followed by a step-by-step account would make the organisation easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use several relevant process terms from the diagram, including “limestone filter,” “evaporator,” “centrifuge,” and “drying and cooling.” These show some task-specific vocabulary. However, the range is limited and repetitive, with “process” and “very difficult” used repeatedly, and some word choices make the meaning unclear, such as “They are done from the product to the market.” Spelling errors such as “digram,” “realesd,” and “proceger” also reduce clarity. Aim for accurate verbs that describe each stage, such as “extracts,” “filters,” “heats,” and “separates,” and avoid unsupported comments about difficulty or marketing. This would make the description more precise and natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to describe a sequence and includes some simple sentence forms, but grammatical control is inconsistent and errors often make relationships between stages hard to understand. For example, “The sugar is produced from sugar canes first step growing” lacks a clear sentence structure, while “The next part to the evaporator … in heat” does not form a complete, accurate clause. Articles and sentence boundaries are also problematic, as in “purifying juice in limestone filter.” Most sentences rely on similar basic patterns, with little accurate use of clauses to explain how one stage leads to another. Practise writing complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, for example, “The juice is then heated in an evaporator, where it becomes syrup.”

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