Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

How sugar is produced from sugar cane

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The diagram illustrates the manufacturing of how sugar is producted from sugar cane.

Overall, the process contained seven main stages, beginning with the growing of sugar cane and how it takes time to mature around 12 to18 months ,then natural and industrial processes and ending with drying and cooling.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

You identify the diagram as a sugar-production process and give a relevant overview: it has seven stages, starts with cane growing, and ends with drying and cooling. You also include the stated growing period of 12 to 18 months. However, the response reports almost none of the process details, such as harvesting, crushing, purifying the juice, evaporation, or centrifuging. The overview’s reference to “natural and industrial processes” is too general to explain the main stages. The response is also substantially below the required 150 words, leaving the task only minimally addressed. To improve, describe each stage in sequence and include the key transformation from cane to juice, syrup, sugar crystals, and finally dried sugar.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic, understandable order: it introduces the diagram and then gives an overall summary from growing to the final stage. The phrase “beginning with” helps signal the sequence, and the ending identifies drying and cooling. However, there is no developed description of the intervening stages, so the reader cannot follow the process as a whole. The overview sentence also combines several ideas in a crowded structure, with “then natural and industrial processes” offering little clear progression. Use separate, logically ordered sentences or paragraphs: first give the overview, then describe the stages in sequence, using links such as “after harvesting,” “the resulting juice,” and “finally.”

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant process vocabulary, including “manufacturing,” “stages,” “growing,” and “drying and cooling,” and the reader can identify the topic. However, the range is very limited because most of the diagram’s specific actions and materials are not named. There are also inaccurate or awkward choices: “producted” is not the correct form, and “manufacturing of how sugar is…” is an unnatural phrase. “Natural and industrial processes” is vague rather than precise. Build a small set of accurate process terms—such as “harvest,” “crush,” “filter,” “evaporate,” and “separate”—and use them to report the diagram’s steps clearly. Check word forms and collocations when revising.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both a present-tense introduction and a longer overview sentence, and the main message remains understandable. However, the sentence structures are limited, and the overview contains several control problems: “the process contained” uses an unsuitable past tense for a diagram describing a general process, while “beginning with the growing … and how it takes time” creates an unbalanced construction. The spacing and punctuation around “12 to18 months ,then” also make the sentence harder to read. Prefer a clear present-tense pattern, for example, “Overall, the process consists of seven stages, beginning with cane growth, which takes 12 to 18 months, and ending with drying and cooling.” Then use short, accurate sentences to describe the remaining stages.

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