Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 16 · 2026-11-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
How sugar is produced from sugar cane
Student answer (Band 5.5)
this diagram demonstrate the the manufacturing procedures of sugar from sugar cane, the process break down the outcome of sugar from growing to the solid sugar..
overall, the diagram cracks all the step of getting sugar harvesting to crushing then the juice is take for evaporator , after drying and cooling sugar gets it ultimate refined form.
first of all , according to the diagram it shows sugar cam takes 12-18 for grow up, and it cuts by tractor and manually by human, after then the crushing method starts, which separates the raw juice from sugar cane, later it has taken to purifying th dust from sugar , later it sent for evaporating method after turning the juice into syrup, then the step is separation crystals from the syrup , lastly it delivered for drying and cooling ,, then the sugar is ready to edible and other uses ..
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
You identify the process as making sugar from sugar cane and include several key stages, including the 12–18-month growing period, harvesting, crushing, evaporation, separation, and drying and cooling. However, the account is only partial: it omits the limestone filter used to purify the juice and does not clearly explain that the centrifuge separates sugar crystals from syrup. The overview also gives an inaccurate sequence by suggesting the juice goes directly to the evaporator after crushing, and “the diagram cracks all the step” does not communicate a clear summary. The response is one word below the required minimum. To improve, give a precise overview of the full sequence and explain the purpose of each main stage.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
There is a basic attempt to organise the response with an opening, an overview, and a chronological account. Connectors such as “first of all,” “after then,” “later,” and “lastly” help signal sequence. However, the progression is not consistently clear: the overview says the juice is taken to the evaporator, while the detailed account mentions purification first, and the stages are compressed into one long paragraph. Some links are awkward or unclear, such as “later it has taken to purifying” and “then the step is separation crystals.” Use separate paragraphs for the overview and process details, and link each stage with clear, accurate transitions so the reader can follow the sequence without having to infer connections.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use some relevant process vocabulary, including “harvesting,” “crushing,” “evaporating,” “syrup,” “crystals,” and “drying and cooling,” which makes the general topic recognisable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate enough to make parts difficult to understand. For example, “the diagram cracks all the step” does not express the process overview, “sugar cam” appears to mean sugar cane, and “ultimate refined form” is not a natural description of the final product. “Edible and other uses” is also an imprecise ending. Choose standard process terms such as “illustrates,” “is crushed,” “filtered,” and “final product,” and check spelling and word forms carefully.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response attempts longer sentences and uses sequencing clauses, but grammatical control is inconsistent, and errors sometimes make the relationships between stages unclear. The opening has duplicated wording in “the the manufacturing procedures,” while “the process break down” has incorrect subject–verb agreement. Other examples include “sugar cam takes 12-18 for grow up,” which lacks a clear grammatical structure, and “the juice is take for evaporator,” where the passive verb form and article are missing. Punctuation is also unreliable, with repeated commas and full stops. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then combine stages using controlled clauses—for example, “After the cane is crushed, the juice is purified through a limestone filter.”
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