Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 17 · 2026-09-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

I don’t think that in the near future we will be pay by cards or using phones , because we don’t have the ability to do that for example in the 3rd world like Africa we already have the cards but the old generation rather use cash than cards and we can’t convince them with this idea , but the new generation and as a young adult i encourage this way of payment , once a upon a day i was with my grandparents I tried to convince them to pay the electricity by the phone and the refused to do that and said they gonna steal our money ! That moment i knew that we cant convince the old generation. The develope world like america and europe have this idea and they are trying to stop the cash but still have some people alse refuse this idea .

Maybe in the long future we can succeed to spread this idea where the gen z will be the old generation

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which significantly impacts the development of ideas. While you address both parts of the prompt—the likelihood of a cashless society and the reasons for resistance—the ideas are underdeveloped and lack sufficient detail or examples. The argument is presented in a single, run-on paragraph, which prevents a clear, structured progression of thought. To improve, you must expand your arguments with more specific evidence and ensure you meet the length requirement to allow for a full exploration of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The essay lacks paragraphing, which is essential for organizing ideas logically. The text is written as one long, continuous block, making it difficult for the reader to follow the transition between your opinion, the reasons for resistance, and the global context. Cohesive devices are largely absent or misused, such as the repetitive use of 'but' and 'and'. To achieve a higher score, you need to use clear paragraph breaks and a wider range of linking words (e.g., 'furthermore', 'consequently', 'on the other hand') to connect your ideas more effectively.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary is basic and repetitive, often relying on informal phrasing such as 'once a upon a day' and 'gonna'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'the develope world' instead of 'the developed world' and 'spread this idea' when referring to the adoption of technology. The range of vocabulary is limited, which restricts your ability to express complex ideas clearly. You should focus on learning topic-specific collocations related to finance and technology to enhance the precision and sophistication of your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are significant issues with sentence structure, including run-on sentences and a lack of proper punctuation. For example, 'I don’t think that in the near future we will be pay by cards' contains an error in verb form ('be paying'). Additionally, there are errors in subject-verb agreement and article usage throughout the text. The range of structures is very limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences. You need to focus on mastering basic sentence construction and punctuation before attempting more complex structures.

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